My husband had an afair with a long time friend of ours. She has been invited to many family occasions through the years because of our children'c connections ( they have gone through school together). two years ago her husband died. My husband was expanding our business and he offered her a job, as her job paid very little and she needed help. Everyone helped her through this time, many friends, family and my husband and I. At about the same time my husband decided to grow the business and did not tell me of some of the risky financial decisions. i frequently asked about this woman, invited her to family functions ( our kids graduation) and continued to ask my husband how she was doing, etc. Five months ago I found out they were involved. He said it had only been since November, but I have found out that probably it was longer. he said that he hadn't been happy for a long time and now he feels really good about himself. is this what men say when this happens- or is he truly in love. My husband seems to be two people- a kind loving man, and a cold , thoughtless man. It has only ben recently that he has noticed how sad I am and how sorry he is for the situation. he does not want to leave this affair and he is not even sure if it will be longlasting. She still works in our business- he will not let me interfere with this-even on request. he says he is a different man. That he hasn't been happy for a long time. He even told our oldest son that he was always angry at him because he wasn't happy in this marriage. I know in my heart we were happy until a year or so ago. We hae had many external events direct our lives and he doesn't seem to care that this may have influened his behavior. We have a nine year old son- he has always said that he would lay down and die for his sons. He is willing to go to family counseling but will not engage in couples. He says there are too many things he has never told me. He says he is in love and that's why he can't return. It is so out of his character. is this true- is he really in love and the rest doesn't have meaning anymore?
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