Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I have been checking my H's cell phone charges for the last month since I found out about all the texting and calling. For the last week he hasn't called or texted the OW(this was after I found the new cell phone and made him get rid of it.) This morning when I checked the calls, he had sent her a text last night and she sent 3 back to him. This was after I had went to bed about 1 am.
What the HELL is the matter with him?!?!?!? Is he doing this just because he knows that I'm checking on him?? Or what??
How can I even begin to trust him again when he does something this stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the HELL is the matter with him?!?!?!? Is he doing this just because he knows that I'm checking on him?? Or what??
How can I even begin to trust him again when he does something this stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
You must have enough tough love, not to let him hurt you anymore.
He is not going to do anything different if you keep putting up with it...
Prayers and hugs to you!!
I still sometimes take what he does personally. The HONEST TRUTH is, he is addicted and he is hoping to get away with it but willing to deal with the consequences if caught.
By addicted, I dont mean to sex or even that it is a DISEASE. Just that people become sort of mesmorized, some people especially, with the infatuation, the drama, the "star crossed lovers syndrome" (Romeo and juliet still causes emotional responses after 400 or 500 years!).
It IS adolescent. Sometimes people regress to adolescence when they think that they are smitten and, more importantly, someone is smitten with them. There is nothing substantial or real about his feelings for her.
Nevertheless, he is not yet motivated enough to "break the spell" and commit to being in a grown up marriage.
His motivation to stop, must come from the outside, YOU, as he has no internal values or sense of direction at this time.
My husband admitted that he told me about the affair because he knew he was too "lost" in his delusional thinking, about her, to get out of the relationship by himself!
He was aware enough to know that he was "insane" at the time and needed his "best friend", me, to make him stop. Flattering? No! Fact? Yes!
He knew, from the moment he told me, that he would lose everyting real and important to him, if he did not stop contact with her.
He saw her one more time after that at a party. He came home and called me, I was in New York trying to figure things out. He was still delusional, but he did call and he has paid dearly for his decisions.
He has not lost me, because he broke contactwith her and did not stay or leave the party with her.
But life for him has been a living hell for over 2 years and is just beginning to normalize.
You must set the limits that YOU will accept. Do not threaten anything you are not willing to do. In fact do not threaten.
If I were you I would just disappear (with the kids if there are any). No warning, no note, no explainations. even if just for a few days. I did this sevral times, to be alone and because I just could not even look at him in the beginning.
He will either go crazy wondering where you are and his focus will return to you.
Or he will take the opportunity to spend more time with her.
This will help you know what to do next.
We cannot decide for them,nor do we have any control over them. we can, however, make certain that they understand that winning us back is going to require more effort than they have ever put into anything in their lives. Only then will WE and THEY know if the relationship has a chance of recovery.
Hope this helps and prayers for you.
What's the matter with him? He is having an affair...and he is so caught up in it that even after his wife has found out about it -he can't stop!
It is like an addiction...but just like in an addiction you cannot enable him to continue... you have to stay strong and take a tough love approach.
He's either comitted to you and the marriage or he's not- it's like being a little pregnant -you either are or you're not...he can't have his cake and eat it too.