
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
where can i start. well i was young when i met my husband. i was about 21. i thought he was the nicest guy i've ever met. he said all the right things. my family was very strict. i know that i was hungry for love. when he came along i felt so loved. we got married a year after. my mom and dad wasn't too sure about him. i know my whole family didn't really approved. my husband was my first. so many promises he made to me and i believed him with my heart and soul. i could walk you through all my life but it's so long. after awhile the lies came out and he started cheating on me. there was so mant lies. i tried so hard to make things right. at time i know i looked well like a begger. i had to pride. i can't count how many times he would say that marrying me was a mistake. how unattractive i was, how i could never satisfiy him. we were separated 5 years ago and when i agree to take him back, all the times he tried and the few counseling we went to, about a year and half ago when he told me that was still the same gut that he never changed. told me that he didn't love me. he ripped my heart out. all i ever wanted was to grow old with him and raise our children together. my mom was trying to help me. we cried together. she didn't want me to get a divorce because she didn't believe in that. it's been 3 months since i lost my mom to cancer. sure he came back and help me when i had to be with her. but now that she's gone, well he lives here but we're in separate floors. we don't communicate at all. i don't know what he does. i wish i never agreed to quit my job 2 years ago. now i'm very depressed, i feel so trapped. he doesn't even look at me...don't care how i'm doing. he knows how i'm struggling with the lost of my mom. sometimes i think he wishes that i would end up like my mother so he could be free of me. at times i don't think that it would be a bad idea...but then i think what would happen to my kids. as lost and down in this deep dark hole that i'm in i still take care of my kids. i give them so much love and they give me love to but i'm just dying inside. i'm afraid that this situation will kill me someday. getting out....but where do i go....i'm so ashamed of my life, i really don't have anyone i can turn to. all the doors as closed on me. i have no communication with anyone. my kids are the only one i talk to. the rest i just shut myself off. freinds, my sister has told me how pretty i am and they can't understand how i could ever marry somebody so ugly. i walk with my head hanging down. i don't see myself as being beautiful. he's distroyed me so badly...it would take a miracle for me to be able to see a sign...of hope.
i'm sorry this is so long but i had to get it out..somehow.
thank you..
i'm sorry this is so long but i had to get it out..somehow.
thank you..
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You can see him for alimony and child support, get exclusive possession to the home and get him out of there. Even if you leave HIM, you are still entitled to those things.
It would take a miracle of hope for you to see some change in HIM. The answer is not within him, it is within YOU.
thank you for replying.
But, it seems like more than cheating is going on here. I know why you are paralyzed, because you are so beaten down. Please try to see a counselor without him knowing. It may help you a bit.
Seek out some help / someone to talk to - in person. A councelor or therapist --- maybe they can help you prepare to make the changes you seem to want / that would be good for you.
You can get yourself together - then get out there - get a job (even part time) or go to school and take some classes toward a new career / meet new people...and you will start to feel better.
You will see not everyone is like this / treats people badly.
When he lashes out at you - it's because of his own guilt and weakness and insecurities. It's easier to attack you and make excuses than it is to face up to the ugly person HE really is inside.
He wouldn't have gotten together with you in the first place if he wasnt attracted to you / wouldnt have gotten married / would not have come back.
The mistakes he makes are his own - not because of you. His mistakes are that he is too weak and twisted to accept and care for the love that is true that is right in front of him. And - instead of face that and what he is losing because of it (and what he lost) ...its easier to attack and blame you.
Thank you guys.
when you are married - ALL income BOTH of you make is BOTH your income.
Even if 1 has a "regular" job, and 1 stays at home.
You cook, clean, keep house, raise his children...
add up all those services and it would be WAY more than 1/2 his income....
and you are entitled to (rightly so..) 1/2 his income.
YOU would be entitled to child support if you split / until the children are 18
and if you have been married for some time (10 yrs or longer i think...) you may get spousal support too.
DO NOT think of it as "his income" and "depending on him".
Think of yourself first. That is what HE is doing...and he does it in a selfish self-destructive way for both himself AND his family.
YOU only want positive changes and to CARE for your family.
ALSO - if you get a job / go to school... IN THE LONG RUN --- your helping HIM too. When you split - the MORE you make - the LESS he has to pay you.
SO you are not TAKING from him by doing what you need to - to be able to take care of yourself.
You are not dependant on him - you are a family unit and that is how one works.
You shouldnt be ashamed of anything - HE is the one that is shameful.
A LOT of smart, beautiful, intellegent, wonderful people end up with someone who treats them badly.
He is treating you badly because of him - not because of you.
That reflects badly on him - not on you.
SO - dont think you are "taking" from him at all ..... YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT taking ENOUGH --- and you need to change that.
It will help you , your (and his) children - and it will help HIM also.