Im brand new to this site. First, in reading the stories and responses, I have already gotten some advice I know I can use. Some background on my situation Ive been married for 18 years, with two great teenage boys who have been my anchor. My H was diagnosed and survived testicular cancer in early 2008. After going through that experience, our marriage was stronger then ever. We were happy, enjoyed each others company, and had a great outlook on our relationship. Boy, did I get the rug ripped out from under! Does anyone remember the movie Pretty Woman with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts? Well, thats sort of how my story went. While my H was in NYC in September for a monthly checkup, he arranged an erotic massage with one of those endings from someone from a website (this someone was 45, a stripper for 20 years, turned massage therapist since she got too old for stripping). In October, he did the same thing, but this time (because he was spending a few days in NYC for other reasons I now know were lies) he wined and dined her (to the tune of $400 per dinner), and bought her several expensive gifts. He continued their relationship via email and phone after that. He did not physically see her after his October fling. However, in December, he took a trip to Colorado for some skiing. I could not go with him, because I had a very important commitment for our son that he should have been at. On the day of his return, I received a plane ticket refund in the mail in her name! He had planned on taking her with him! He claims (and so did she, I called her to confront her) that she had a boyfriend in Colorado that she was meeting, and he was simply buying her the ticket. Supposedly, my H decided that it wasnt right, and they called it off. He went alone. When I called her on two occasions, she basically mentioned that she doesnt ever get to have nice stuff because shes trying to support 4 kids, and my H was nice to her. How sweet! Well, Ive decided to stay, after much contemplation. He is, of course, sorry and explained that this made him feel like a big shot, a show off, and she ate it up showering him with compliments. He told me that I always have it so together that I never need him to take care of me. So, she was needy and just what he needed. Im working on me considering what my H said. Were both committed to making things work. I have no doubt that he loves me. Friends often comment on how he looks at me, and treats me, that they can see how in love he is with me. So, I guess my request for advice here has to do with a few things. Im about 6 weeks after finding out and about 2 weeks into knowing the whole story. How do you get off of the roller coaster ride? One minute I am so positive, and the next Im a raving lunatic! Any advice on how to push those negative thoughts out? How do I get my confidence back? Thanks for listening. Just by writing all of this down has helped get it off my chest!
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