It just occured to me that through having been the abandonee and the recently betrayed I have felt both sides of the termination of a long term relationship. The feeling I had when I left a 23 year marriage was more elation than sadness. I felt 100% vindicated from any wrong doing. I felt right about it. Even though she didn't deceive me in any way, my mind was made up that I just wasn't getting from this person what made me feel whole... (intelectually for the most part). I became liberated and adventurous. With no one to take her place, I simply moved to another state. Understanding how I perceived this "letting go", I am able to envision the mind-set of my best friend and lover when she made the decision to have her on-line flame move in with her within a few months after I decided (through obvious hints that an affair was going on)it would be in my best interest to leave. In both cases I quit. I felt right about both decisions. Only one was elation and the other I'm still trying to get over. I made a good choice for me and my standards by leaving both but after reading so many responses of people hanging in there after an affair is discovered, I question whether any deceiving cheater is worth staying with. It kind of blows my mind to read that people actually remain in a relationship where your supposed best friend screws you over in such a way. Any comments ?
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