I have been on this site for a little over a month now and have really gained a tremendous amount of insight from all here. It has truly been a blseesing. My wife and I are doing incredibly well considering it was less than 10 months ago since I found out about her sexual encounter with a complete stranger while on a mini-vacation with some of her girlfriends. We have really re-connected, refocused and become closer than we have probably ever been in our 14 years of marriage. So why is it that I am so obsessed with having to know if what she did was a result of some sort of "mania", "bipolar episode" or just a blatant disregard for me, my son and our marriage? There is a history in her family of these episodes, although she's never been diagnosed (father and sister) and the way she describes how she felt during this period (there was contact a for a few months after this encounter with the OM but nothing more), is so out of character for her. I even noticed before I found out what happened that she seemed alot different during this period of time. Looking back she says she didn't even feel comfortable in her own skin, doesn't even recognize who that person was and didn't want to be a mom anymore, just wanted to lose all responibility and have fun again. If anyone who has dealt with a similar issue could shed some light on this it would be greatly appreeciated. I am just being held back by this "needing to know why" and really want to move on.
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