Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after the transgression.

4 Online
4 Online

Bible verses vs adultery

My husband and I area having a disagreement. My husband says there is no where in the bible that says anything about a betrayed can leave the betrayer (divorce). He says there are places in the bible that say, adultery is bad, but not a reason for divorce. I disagree. Can you help me with this?

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

In most books of the bible, your husband will be proven correct. The Old Testament has very rigid views of adultery and marriage. Leviticus states that the adulterer shall be put to death. But in the New Testament, there is more written on forgiveness. Ex: read 2 Corinthians 2; 5-11. Back to your question. You may find some of your answers in Mathew. Check out chapter 5: 31-33. It can also be interpreted through the bible that adultery breaks the covenant of the marriage. Once the covenant is broken, does it exist. I hope this helps you.
special3
special3

Wow, did he open a can of worms!

Jesus teaches about divorce:
Matthew 5:32 (NIV)
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife,"except for martial unfaithfulness", causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced women commits adultery.

...Jesus said that divorce is not permissible except for unfaithfulness. This does not mean divorce SHOULD automatically occur. The word translated "unfaithfulness" implies a sexually immoral life-style, not a confessed and repented act of audultery. Those who discover their partner has been unfaithful should make every effort to forgive, reconcile, and restore their relationship. We are always to look for reasons to restore the marriage relationship rather than for excuses to leave it.

I believe this is the scripture verse people use when
the unfaithful spouse does not repent or change. Than they divorce.
pianogirl
pianogirl

I was thinking of Matthew, too. Chapter 19 is when the Pharisees approached Jesus and asked him "Is it against the law for a man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?" Jesus knew they were testing him about the Laws handed down from Moses, which allowed for divorce if a man gave his wife a "writ of dismissal." However, Jesus says "It was because you were so unteachable that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but it was not like this from the beginning. Now I say this to you: the man who divorces his wife, except in the case of adultery, and marries another, is guilty of adultery."

My interpretation of that is similar to Special3. He is not commanding us to divorce in the case of adultery, but saying it is a reason that we would be allowed to divorce without feeling we are in violation of His teachings.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Reply #2 is correct. I suppose that your husband is only sure of 9 commandments as well.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I hope this is a purely intellectual disagreement and you're not making important life decisions (like staying with a jerk husband) based on what Leviticus and Matthew say about things.
deleted_user
deleted_user

BTW, your husband is the winner of this disagreement based on all the quoted verses (assuming this disagreement revolves around whether or not you'd be justified in divorcing him for his adultery). The Bible allows men to divorce women for adultery but not the other way around. I hope your husband isn't using the built-in sexism that exists in Bible in order to scare you into staying with him. If that's not a sin, it should be.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think what is the hardest part is that a divorced woman, justified or not can not remarry or be w/ another man w/o committing adultery. Based upon the quote.
pianogirl
pianogirl

I don't think of it that way, Pixie, because I think of all the examples of Jesus being a radical champion of woman's rights. Remember him stopping the crowd from stoning the "adultress" and His compassion for the woman at the well who came alone when all the other women left because she'd been married 3 times. The gospels were written by men in a sexist time, therefore the language is written to address men. However, I truly believe Jesus meant his message for all, because he said so many times, and just because the gospel writers were myopically sexist, I don't believe Jesus was.
deleted_user
deleted_user

There is a story in the Bible, can't thinkof where. It shows how a woman betrayed her man and because of such was sold into slavery. When she went to auction the person who bought her was her husband. I hope someone can quote where this story comes from. It is about forgiveness.

To forgive is divine.

I am not divine, I wish I understood how I could be. It took me 30 years to forgive my father.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi Daisy,
May I suggest a marriage counseler ? Don't put too much stock in the Bible. You can find sections and quotes to support or refute just about any opinion you like. It's just loaded with contradictions.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I've been in MC for 18 months. I am where I am because it was a Christian MC that told my husband he had to tell me. We went back to him for the first 6 months, but I was in shock for that time. I have been to 2 more. The next one said there wasn't much more she could do, I was in deep grief so sent me to PTSD and EMDR
to help with all the horrible thought I have from him telling me all details of an year and a half affair. I have stopped going for now.. I think I know what I have to do, it's just hard and I got tired of crying my heart out for about 30 minutes of an hour and half. She had to bring me back to a place, a safe place where I could even drive home. I guess I can say- I'm just tired!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I don't want people to get angry with me for saying this, but I think the bible can be interpreted in so many different ways. So often, two people read the same quote and come away with completely opposite meanings and interpretations. Anyone can find a bible quote to defend whatever they are arguing about. It means nothing.
deleted_user
deleted_user

100 percent correct Kristi
pianogirl
pianogirl

In general, I agree Kristi. I never bought the creation story or lots of other allegorical tales from the Bible. However, there can only be one interpretation of this "Thou shalt not commit adultery." I think that one is pretty black and white.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Along with thou shall not take thy neighbors wife. That's pretty clear too. S he was married
too. My husband said to me one day- you don't believe in the devil- like the devil made me do it!! Give me a break!!! God gave us a free will, to do what it right or what it wrong.
Sorry, you chose the loosing one!