CAN ANYONE HELP ME? PLEASE

I really don't think anyone with this situation is going to answer Jae. Either they don't want to admit their mistake on here or there are really no men on here facing this situation. It looks like its just us the betrayed that are willing to look for help on here. Not sure, maybe giving it some more time. I want to read some posts of that nature too.

Wow, this almost happened to me but the OW ended up being pregnant by another guy (timing was way offf) but even when my H thought it was his it was hard for me and I had to choose if I wanted to leave or stay. I truely sympathize with your situation.

thanks guys. i wish someone would come forward and help me understand this a little bit better.

MissSan-thanks for your support. it is a very hard situation to be in but i know that in the end i will be okay.

Hmmmmm, where are they all? I hope they show up for you and give you some help.

Can't imagine what you're going thru and I hope you get some answers.

Still dont know if the baby my H's first OW is carrying is his. Now since he has a second OW, I filed for divorce. But I want to know if that baby is his. I NEED to know, but my lawyer says the court will not order a DNA and I dont know if my idiot STBX will get one, and if he does, dont know if I will ever know. Its killing me. And yes, like an idiot I still love him. I dont want the divorce but have no choice. I hope some cheaters are brave enough to try to help answer some of your questions. Good luck hon!

thanks guys and notachance-i am so sorry that you have to deal with this. it really is a tough situation. i have these days where i just want to love my husband and continue to plan our future together but when i think about the fact that he has the outside child if tears me apart inside. all of this has really taken a toll on me and my body. i hope someone will come forward and help me, and not just me but every woman here who needs answers and wants to understand why this happened.

My wife thought she was pregnant after her affair, but she wasn't. I wish you luck.

Jaew:

My dad was married to Cindy when he made me. My mom was married to Jerry. Both my parents are lying cheating jerks. I feel so loved.

Having said that, my dad stayed married to Cindy. I am only going to be honest here: Cindy is a mess, and has been for years. She tries to be nice to me, but it is difficult considering my Mother is the person who fucked her husband. I truly am sick over what they did. Every once in a while, she makes snide remarks. I am an adult now- she doesn't get away with them the way she did when I was little and she KNOWS it. Its not my damn fault. But still to this day, all I see in her eyes is pain when she sees me. Its like a constant reminder in her face. I am SURE it does not help her that I am the SPITTING IMAGE of my father, yet NONE of her kids look like him.

The sad part is, while my mother is a "reformed" cheater, learned her lesson and hasn't cheated on a soul in 32 years since my birth, my dad never changed. He STILL cheats on Cindy to this day and JUST this past week TOLD me about it! If he hadn't have done that on the phone, I would have slapped the ever living shit right out of him.

And yet, Cindy stays. I asked him WHY he continues to cheat on her and he said "She isn't going anywhere, she stayed through you".

I'm not telling you to leave your husband, but I am telling you this pain is probably never going to end.

Best of luck to you,.

I wanted to make a quick ad to my post before I bring you dismay: Even, I, myself full heartedly believe my dad could sleep with someone in front of Cindy and that she would stay. The reason being is my dad is a very wealthy man and owns ALOT of rental properties, vacation home and his own businesses ( 3). He does tons of blueprints and has degrees, blah blah blah. Cindy never had to work a day in her LIFE. I think she stays for the money, which is obvious by the constant reworking of wills and trust funds she has my father do. So in THEIR case, it isn't love. They have come to some fked up mutual understanding that my dad will do as he pleases as long as she continues to get her allowance ( he pays her weekly).

What a sorry, sorry web they weave.

hey Betrayed Angel-i am sorry you have to deal with that. that is what makes me the maddest is that they brought this child into the world under the worst possible circumstances. i have never mistreated his child but she is a constant reminder of my pain. i wish things were different for her it is sad that someday she will know that eventhough she was completely innocent her exsistence tore a family apart. and you know my son will suffer even more because he is used to having both his mom and dad together.

Wow, so that is what I have to look forward to, don't knoe if I can do it.

I dont see how anyone could, sorry.

Betrayedangel-i already know that i will probably never get over this and it really makes me sick because it is so hard to let my husband go, but listening to your story pretty much confirms it for me. i hate that these things happen because they really can destroy a person, i feel like this one little kid being born has completely destroyed my life. if i ever fully recover from this it will only be by the grace and mercy of god. thank you for answering this post and as sad as it is so many of us here needed to hear what you had to say. you have truly served your purpose here in this group. i worry because this child is only 4 months younger than our son and so they will pretty much be going thru the same things at the same time, i.e. school, sports, driving, etc. it scares me because i already know that there will come a time when our son will be dissapointed by his dad because his dad is there for the other child, and not him. the thought of that just breaks my heart.

I feel for you JaeW, I really do. I am 32 years old, and *I* feel guilty every time I see Cindy. As I mentioned though, she doesn't get to pop off like she did to me when I was younger. I will flat out knock her face off and she KNOWS it. She tried it with me when I got a bit too older and realized exactly how freakin unwise that was.

Having said that though, I dont know how you do it. I would never be able to do it.

Considering my dad is still married to Cindy, his kids aren't the ones that ever got hurt. I was. I didn't have a "relationship" with my dad until I hit 31. I hung out and played with his kids when I was little and could never figure out why Cindy was so mean to me AND got away with it.

My mom decided telling me when I was SIXTEEN that my dad wasn't my real dad. From 16-18 I had a relationship with him again, but Cindy decided to be an asshat at every chance she got. I finally just backed off FOR YEARS. I didn't see my dad again until I was 24 and it was only for a few minutes. I also seen him for about a half hour when I was 26. I didn't establish ANY type of relationship with him until this last past year and he is really trying.

Want to know what the sickest part is? My first kiss WAS MY BROTHER. ( I didnt know he was). good thing we moved away from them when I was 10, he might have become MUCH more later down the road.

People are truly, truly sick. Good luck to you. Again, I don't know how you do it. I sincerely don't. I wouldn't be able to. Nothing is going to stop the pain imo.