Another day and I still can't wrap my finger around this. I do know that depression is kicking in, mildly, but it is. I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I want to call him and hear his voice, but I won't. I want him to call me and tell me he's sorry over and over and call me baby and tell me he loves me. He used to call me every morning (we're doing long distance) and call me to say good morning and i love you. He's different now than he was before in our previous relationship. Which is why I don't want to let go of him now. He's a good boyfriend to me now. But he's shown me by confessing to me, what a bad boyfriend he was before. How do I trust? I'm not grieving. I'm more sad. I'm confused. I'm seriously just staring at the wall with so many thoughts and don't even know where to start. I need his support to make it through this if we want this to work, but he's not here. Today is a sad, blah, day. And it's only 9:30 in the morning. Great.
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