My husband also told me that his affair was over and I needed to trust him. I told him he needed to trust me too. So I drew up a deed (I'm a lawyer) for him to sign over all his interest in our house to me. He was nervous, but he signed it. Now we truly have to trust each other. It was the only thing I could think of to level the playing field. So far, it is helping.

bitterorbetter, man that was smart.
trustinthelord-i have not been married anywhere near as long as you have, so i guess i'm not near your age but i found out about my husbands 4 year affair about a month and a half before our anniv. he decided we would have a family getaway to the beach, as a celebration for our anniv. but he never said happy anniv., and neither did i because i told him we had nothing to celebrate because our marriage was a lie(the trash he was sleeping with was 2 months pregnant when we got married-i was 7 months, but we had been engaged for almost 2 years)(i knew nothing of the affair)i later said to him "you know sunday was our anniversary!" and he said he knew but he did not say it because he knew i was angry and i had told him that our marriage was a lie-but that's why he took me to the beach. men are so stupid and selfish. if women acted like them this world would be even more screwed up than it is.

We had our 23rd anniversary in January, three months after I found out about his 2-1/2 year affair and the numerous adult websites he was REGISTERED on to meet people, not just looking at pictures, mind you. We got a hotel room with a hot tub and he got really drunk, and fell asleep. I bet he didn't fall asleep when he was with HER. I was so hurt. We are getting a divorce even though he says they are through. I'll never believe him and I can't live my life like that. I hope you can have a different experience. Many people come through this and heal together. However, trust your feelings!!!!! Best wishes.