In reading some of Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil's books I came across a concept that I thought bears discussing. She says that all affairs are the symptom of deeper issues within a relationship, that haven't been addressed or delt with. She goes on to say that adultry is a result of inherted emotional behavior rather than a desire to be unfaithful. The adulterer is trying to finish his/her childhood and heal thier wounds. It is up to us to help them identify and help heal the wounds, so they don't look elsewhere. If we don't help, we are guilty of leaving them "stuck" in thier development. She talks about the equals sign and the need for both partners to validate how they contribued to the breakdown of the relationship.I can relate, because of my drinking, overworking, and not being there to help my wife through her deeper childhood dilemas. I realize that there is no excuse for an affair, but if you ask yourself honestly how you may have contributed, realize that there are deeper relational issues going on, you might gain some understanding and forgiveness. Am I way off base here ?
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