She may actually talk about it if asked. Are they still together? Is she still working with him? She may be willing to give up all sorts of details in the name of hurt. It's just a matter of whether or not you really want to know. You know you can't unring the bell....I would want to know though. I have to know all details so I can handle it and put it behind me. Best of luck!

One of many things I did: He went to bed at night, I would go to his jeep. Record the mileage and date and give to my best friend for safekeeping. She kept a journal for me. I already tagged the mileage from our house to his job--and to the firing range. Over time I noticed a pattern. Mond/Wed (when he would get home late-and btw I also had my bestfriend record that info too)--he always went 9 miles over the mileage. I used a Zaba Search and found her address. It was 4.5 miles from his routine route.
2nd. I had found wet wipes in his jeep. He has seat covers and the back has pockets for storage. So he replaced those with travel tissues. One in each pocket. So. Took each pk of travel tissue. Opened each one and ripped the few two pieces in a certain way so as not to be noticeable. Put the tissues back in the pockets with the "sticky-open" side facing in. Told my BestFriend (who is recording all this info for me). The next night. He came home that certain time. Checked the jeep. Yep, the mileage was once again exactly 9 miles over. One of the packs of tissues were messed with-sticky side facing out and the pieces I ripped? Gone.
Bottom Line: Everytime I found something, accidently or thru my own investigation, I told her. She would record day, time, everything. Odd conversations had with H. Told her. It was amazing how when time went on and I still didn't want to believe or convientely forgot things dones/said--she had it all in black and white to repeat it back to me. A person, a journal--recording everything I told her so I would know, would be able to refer too if needed. Lots more but this is long enough.

I have been working on a timeline myself as I now know that there are a few details he left out. Now I feel like it was all lies and there maybe much more to this than I know. Not that it matters what is done cant be undone, but I will know everything before its over. Journaling everything is the best and the milage thing is great, I was cosidering it myself before I caught the bastard. Just stay on it dont let up, there are tiny clues all around you good luck!!

I would ask him point blank and then tell him if he is innocent, he won't mind proving it by showing you cell phone records (details of time and phone numbers), email and where he is. Pop in at his job. If you aren't satisfied, follow him. Best of luck to you.

I would ask him point blank and then tell him if he is innocent, he won't mind proving it by showing you cell phone records (details of time and phone numbers), email and where he is. Pop in at his job. If you aren't satisfied, follow him. Best of luck to you.

Ask him, unless you want more proof first. Ask her if you're sure it's happening.

Check the phone records online, they go back more than a year. Check his email. If you don't have access to either one, buy a sim card reader for his cell phone. You can read every text message he's ever sent/received. For the computer, you can get buy spygear and install it in about 10 minutes. That allows you to read every key stroke and it is invisible to him, he will not know it is on the computer. You can get a GPS tracker to place in the car, again invisible to him and no monthly fees.

It also helps to keep a diary of what he says, where he went, etc. You can do this with your online mail account and it allows you to go back and compare new information with historical so that you don't go crazy when he tells you you're crazy.

Hope this helps. Sorry you're going through it, I know this causes you alot of anxiety.

She may tell you, but I would not count on it. Especially if they are still seeing each other. Checking past phone bills may provide some information. The journal idea is fantastic. Often we overlook daily slights because we don't want to see them. A self generated list of events helps paint a true picture of your life.

Rita:
First of all ask yourself do you really want to know? Will it make any difference? No matter the "true" story, it happened. If it's over; it is now up to you to decide where it will go. IF his affair is still going on.... do you want to go on with him?