She made the choice to give herself to another man. She was the one who was uncivil. Tell you're hurt but not stupid. There are plenty of other women out there more deserving of your time than she.

When my H came back after walking out on me and the girls for his whore I got all happy when I was with him too. And I took him back. That was in June and now I am regretting it sooo much. I started to get stronger and got ready to move on with my life and he came back and said all of the right things---for a little while and then everything went back to the way it was before. Why she would think she could go and play around with her BF for 6 months and THEN decide if she loves you is beyond me. I don't get it and she may just be realizing what she is giving up. Classic case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too in my opinion. I think you should let her go and move on with your life, I wish I would have. Good luck.

I agree here with the replies. She is mean & cruel and very uncivil. You need to find some one that wont hurt you someone that is not selfish. Your wife is very selfish to only think of her wants. Let her go to her BF...Chances are she'll get tired of him and want to come back but then it will be to late. Alot of times you can't please the cheaters when they have a vision of there dreams floating around in there head. They don't even realize alot of times it will never come true/ In that sense you really feel sorry for all the fools.GOOD LUCK !!

Ignore her, she is not doing it for any good reason other than to be in your life and use you. period.

How does it make sense that in order for you to be civil, you must spend time with her? Clearly, she is quite a manipulator. She sounds like one of "those" who always try to make everything the fault of the betrayed. If you are doing something that YOU agree is cruel, that could be a bit different. BUT, if all you are doing is divorcing her, not allowing her to bed hop between you and her manwhore, how is that uncivil? Just ignore what her "opinion" is and do what you KNOW is right. She is clearly needing a kindergarden lesson on the difference between right and wrong and I would imagine that you have WAY better things to do with your life than wait around for a baby to grow up. :)

You need to do what's right for you, not what she wants. The ball is in your court you make the rules. She wants to play the game her way. Fine she can go play her own game. In my book being "civil" means you can be polite but you don't have to love them or even like them and you damn sure don't have to act like nothing has ever happened. I'm not big on karma or what goes around comes around but I do beleive in "you reap what you sow". I think she is about to reap the weeds she sowed in the wrong garden.

I must agree with all the other responses thus far...the ONLY reason your stbx is playing on your emotions is so that, somehow, it might make HER feel less guilty about what she has done to you. Don't dignify it with so much as a response! It is MANIPULATION...something which, no doubt, she did to you when you were together.
My EX went on and on for 18 months...wanting me to "be nice" to him after he blindsided and betrayed me (and tried to hide a large portion of our marital assets). I say, if you stick your hand in a knothole once and you get bit, you'd be really dumb to try it again.
You don't need to apologize or give any explanation for NOT wanting to associate with your stbx. Simply saying, "Thanks, but no thanks" should be sufficient.

CONSEQUENCES...SHE must not know what they are or never expected not to be able to control things afterwards....things will not be the same and she made that choice and it is not your position to make her more comfortable because she lied and betrayed you and the family.
Ignore her...that is just a guilt trip and that was probablyjust a ploy to get beside you to talk you out of the divorce and she is tripping that it is really over and she does not have control anymore...which is hard for cheaters when they thought they could control everyone and everything and still come out on top.
it is not your fault.
you have a right to your feelings and reactions and emotions.
she gave up the right to tell you what you should do when she went to someone else...and gave up her right and yours as a unit.
i know it hurts....like hell
but just do whatever you want to do.....no matter what any of us say...DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO FOR WHAT YOU WANT.....IT IS YOUR LIFE
and we will support you....everything is always so complicated when we are so hurt and we all understand...the cheaters always feel like we should just sweep it aside and go on like a car accident....but cheating is not a accident ...it is premeditated.

WOW! You are very right! she is a master manipulator!

"Let me cheat on you and hurt you, but you still have to do those things that I ask of you. Sure, I cheated, and that may not have been too nice, but you still have to be nice -- and civil. Let me not treat you like my husband, but you have to still act like my husband..."

This woman has no clue as to Consequences and still wants to pull your strings.

Hang up on her.