I really have no one I can talk to about this at all. So I am venting here. My husband and I have been married 4 years and it has been rocky from day one. We've always loved eachother, but something has always been wrong. I tried so hard to please him, but he has never been happy with me. Many times he broke my things and left me curled up in a ball on the floor crying. Still I tried. Well then I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I had to quit my job and everything. I am so sick. He works all the time which left me completely alone most of the time. He blamed me for our financial difficulties and also was angry that he has to take care of me. Before I always did everything, but now I can't. Four months ago I met someone online. At first it was just chatting because I was lonely. But it is almost five months later and I am still with this person. I tried several times to stop but I have fallen deeply in love. We have never met in real life yet but its an emotional connection deep enough he wants to move to where I am. He has gotten me through all these dark days of my illness. We spend nine or more hours a day camming when he is home from work. I know this is morally wrong no matter what my husband has done to me. I am at a crossroads. I have told my husband because I couldn't lie anymore. I also confessed to my family which they are very upset with me. Everyone is hating me right now. I care about my husband and don't want us to part but at the same time I can't change my feelings for this other man as much as I have tried to stop part of me doesn't want to. I just feel so confused and lost. Every choice I have will end in heartache for someone. I keep thinking what is wrong with me? I must be a horrible person.
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