I wrote a while ago about wondering if my husband is having an affair but now I need more advice. I found out over a year ago that he was spending a lot of time with a girl from work and emailing her, saying he loved her and missed her, and talking to her on the phone all the time. It is mostly an emotional relationship with her and they have kissed but they say that's all they have done and I do believe it. But he says he loves her as much as he loves me and he can never imagine his life without her. And he shares his thoughts and feeling with her about everything. That hurts me so much and I feel like I deserve more than being in a relationship with someone who also loves someone else. It takes the value away from our relationship. He has told me he loves me and doesn't want to lose me but he is also not willing to cut off all ties with her. He wants us all to be friends so that he can spend time with both of us. I tried to be her friend for a while but I just can't do it anymore. I kicked him out a couple of weeks ago but he got all depressed and wanted to talk and asked to come back and said he would work hard to fix things and would go to counselling. So I let him come back but now I find that I have no desire to fix things and I feel tense and stressed all the time when he is around and I feel like I could be a lot happier without him. We also have 2 girls together, ages 1 and 4. When I tell him I don't want to be together anymore he makes me feel quilty and says he still loves me and no one else would ever love me as much as he does, how can I give up on our relationship so easily. Then he complains he would have no where to live and couldn't afford to be on his own, and he would never see the kids. We live on my parents property and I make more money so he says it's so easy for me and he has everything to lose. He says there are worse relationships out there. I have always placed such a strong value on marriage and thought that couples should do everything they can to make things work. But is it worth it if you are not truly happy and don't know if you ever will be? Is it wrong to give up and not want to try and fix things? I have also recently met another guy and we have been out a couple of times (my H knows) and I know it's not right but it feels nice to be around someone else who is actually fun and enjoys life and wants to do the same things I do and doesn't get angry and depressed all the time (all the other things that bother me about my husband). Being around this other guy gives me hope that there are actually decent guys out there who I could be truly happy with. So do you think I should try and work on things in my marriage or just kick him out again?
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