Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

What should I do?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I found out three weeks ago that my husband whom I have been married to for ten years and loved and trusted from the bottom of my heart, has been having casual sex with people that he had met on an internet dating site. This has been going on for the past 5 years. I thought we had the perfect marriage ( in fact he says and still says that it was perfect)... but find it difficult to believe reasons for straying if he does love me and we did have the perfect marriage. I have two children so decided to give counselling a go.. I am scared of staying in case he hurst me again and scared of leaving because can not imagine life without him. What should I do?
Lstecker
Lstecker
I hope you're doing well. Sorry that you're going through all of this.

Only you can decide if what is left of your marriage is enough to keep you there. 5 years of casual sex says alot.

Try the counseling. It may do a world of good.

Get yourself checked -- see a doctor. And the deal breaker? If he continues to do this cheating with these women.

Once again, so sorry for your pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you're handling the situation correctly given your circumstances. Make sure that your husband is living his life transparently - get his email passwords, voicemail accounts, and enable tracking in his cellphone (without his knowledge if possible).
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you had better discretely gather evidence and suspend your trust. I am still bleeding internally from my own discoveries, so I do not make the suggestion lightly, but the sooner you realize that is is not love, but actually war, the better prepared you will be.

It is sickening to consider the betrayal and dishonesty that people are compelled towards as they pander to their sexual addictions. I can't call casual furtive sex a relationship.

Tell us more..... has he confessed? What are his 'reasons'? How dod you find out? Will he go to counseling, be transparent?
I am sorry for the stress and terrible pain this discovery has caused you, but I am pretty sure that you are better off knowing the realities....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree, find out as much as you can - you may need it later - and he needs to come clean, be 100% honest with you about what's going on. Definitely get yourself checked out, you don't know how many or where they've been, and if he truly wants to re-commit, he needs to become 100% transparent and commit to counseling. And be patient with the counseling, it won't show any results right away, but eventually, if you are both committed, it can help.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hello dayatatime
I am so sorry to hear that you're having to face the pain and torture of your H's betrayal.
If you feel your marriage and H deserve a chance then I think counselling is worth the time and effort. At least this way you will know for sure what has happened and maybe you'll discover what went wrong if anything?
I wish you well.
Regards
A
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