My husband has been on line chatting with other women for months now.When I confornted him about he said that it wasn't cheating. Sme of them had started texting him and I reda some ofthe messages. I was soooo angry. But the clincher was on Valentines Day he said thathe had to go to a conference and on a hunch I started calling area hotels. Finally, I called a hotel and they connected me to his room howver he had just checked out. I asked to clerk for a description of him and she told me and gave a description of who he was with. When he cme home I confornted him,and even with all th evidence against him he still lied. Then he turned the tables on me and told me that he no longer wanted to be married and that all the relationship problems were my fault. Iam sooo hurt and soo angry.He is a Christian and yet he goesto bed at nite with no problem in the world, I howver toss and turn all nite. I am so angry that Iam tempted to go out and find someone. I want to be held and made to feel beautiful.Iam so lonely. Unfortunately a divorce is out of the question because of money issues(And so is seperation).Iam trying not to hate him because I know that t=it only takes energy awa from me,but Iam angry. I really want to get revenge but once again I know it is wrong and will probably hurt me more than him. So Iam tryingto wall in forgiveness but it is hard to forgive someone who arrogantly lies and says that he hasn't done anything wrong and whats worse ,he still conitnues to chat with women on the web-there howver is one in particular that he chats with(for about six wks now)hwver she is not the same one he took to the hotel. Iam trying to get out but I have not found a job yet so I can't go anywhere.I still sleep in our bed because of my back but at the same time this is not healthy for me either. I feel like Iam going crazy. I still love him but I hate his guts.I jus needed some ears to listen while I rnt and rage bc if I keep this all inside I will go crazy!I really don't have anyone else to talk to.
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