I got preg. when I was 17 yrs old. My husband( boyfriend at the time) was 18.We got married right away. A few months into the marriage he had an affair. I found out it ended and we tried to work things out. Due to financial difficulties we moved in with my in-laws. My sister-in-law and her husband were already living there. My H had another affair. Once again I found out about it and it ended. I by that time was a VERY angry and bitter person! I ran out and had an affair, it ended quickly.My H knew something had happened but it was never talked about. Things were difficult between us for a long time. My sister-in-law and her husband were also struggling a little bit. Her husband and I found friendship and comfort in each other. That eventually turned into an affair that lasted a number of months to maybe a year(we both tried to end it many times). Even after the affair ended we remained good friends. He and My sister-in-law ended up getting a divorce a few years later.I continued to befriend him even after the divorce to make sure he was doing ok. My H and I would go visit him from time to time. We lost contact with him about 5 yrs ago. My H just found out about the affair a few weeks ago. He is angry that I lied to him for so long( We will be married 15 yrs in Aug.) and that I continued the friendship even after the divorce. He asked me how I could parade him around going to visit him knowing that we both betrayed him like that. I couldn't answer him. I don't know what kind of person it takes to do something like that. I could tell him what I was telling myself but that won't help. We have had a wonderful marriage for the last at least 10 years.A few problems here or there but for the most part great.I hated myself then for what I was doing and when my H found out I hated myself all over again. When I had to come face to face with what I had done I went into a deep depression and I have been struggling. My husband is so angry and so hurt. I just don't know what to do.How do I deal with my own regret and deep emotions and also meet his needs?
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