I just wanted to say hello to everyone. Obviously, I'm new here. I can't seem to get in a relationship where I don't end up being lied to and cheated on. Really creates some self-doubt and self-loathing internally. I've never been married, never made it that far. My current boyfriend of 4 years has physically cheated on me at least once that I know of, but there's been a lot of online chat cheating and lying in general about a lot of things. I have found that he has an ad up on an adult site looking for discreet relationships with both women and men! That in itself makes me feel lower than I ever thought possible. He's also doing cocaine - that I have proof of. I've confronted him about the cheating, the internet crap and the drug use before and he's real good at making everything seem like it's alright, even though it isn't. I have good friends that know we have problems and even know some of the details. I know the ultimate answer is to leave and be on my own, but at this time that isn't financially possible for me at all. So in the meantime, I feel stuck in a situation where it seems I am nothing more than just a roomate to my boyfriend, who can so carelessly toss "I love you" at me from time to time. I decided to join this group since I'm looking for support from people going through this, or at least similar things. I wanted a place where I can say what I'm really thinking and feeling. I hope I'll fit in here...I have such doubts about myself after all these years. Thanks for reading this.
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