Well, I just needed to vent for a minute and thought I should go ahead and tell my story. I have been married for 6 yrs. as of last week. My husband has always gave me all the attention and love I could ask for. He wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am and that he is sorry he does not show it more often. He trys to do anything to help me out and always kisses and hugs me. People joke that you won't see me without him attached to me. I thought we had a wonderful marriage. Boy was I wrong! I have since found out that I married a serial cheater. About a year after we got married, I noticed that he was not telling the truth about things, seeing wierd calls on his cell marked private and began to question him. I have never to this day gotten a straight answer. I tried to forgive him but he just kept doing his sneaky ways until I realized he was having an affair with his ex-wife who despised me. I was young, had 2 small kids and was a stay at home mom and did not know what to do. I listened to all the advice from my family and his and they thought the best thing for me to do was not make a fuss because of how good he was to me and that he does truly love me he just has a problem with women. His father taught him that even if you are married you should sleep with whatever woman you want. His Dad is now 67 and is still fooling around on his wife! I started to think about it and figured they were right. I had a good life, and wanted to go back to college and get my degree. Over the years, I have had suspicions of other women, but did not have any evidence he was doing anything. I finally found out that he was seeing a woman when he traveled and they were meeting in hotel rooms. I found out what hotel they were in and drove 2 1/2 hrs. and about beat both of them out of their mind. My husband begged for forgiveness, said he would never do it again and would be nice for about a day. After that, he totally forgot it happened and got upset when I would still get upset or not trust him. But, I found out that he still had contact with that woman for about a year afterwards, even when we were both briefly in marriage counseling and trying to piece our marriage back together. He has always claimed that she just came to bring him a movie, which by the way she would of had to have driven almost 2 hrs. to do so I don't believe him. To this day, he denies any physical between the two of them even though I seen the emails back and forth. She even wrote him a long letter and described how he made her feel when they were having sex and described in great detail what he did to her. I don't think I will ever forget what she wrote. There have been continual lies over the years, I can't trust him but I am still madly in love with him. I just don't understand why I am sooo stupid. I found out a couple of weeks ago that he has gotten 'close' to a co-worker who he swears that they were just friends and he is back to his old tricks again. Lying about phone calls, erasing recent calls out of cell phones and such. But, he pretends like there is nothing wrong and that we have a perfect marriage. I am just faking my way thru life, trying to get my degree which I will be done with in 2 more years. I seriously thought about leaving him but we get along well, hardly ever fight as long as I don't press the issue. I just ignore it basically, I fume to myself and my sister-in-laws but never bring it up to him. I am trying to bide my time to get myself together. I just don't understand what is wrong with me. Shouldn't I hate this man already? My sis-in-laws totally side with me on this and they are what get me thru my tough moments and keep reminding me of the main purpose of me hanging around. Without them, I don't know what I would do. They have both been in these kinds of marriages, my mother was a serial home-wrecker, that was how she met my father and it just seems like there are no good marriages anymore where people stay true to their spouses. I have made myself stop spying and searching because it only gives me more pain. But,it seems like everyday I wake up thinking about what all he has done to me and go to sleep thinking about it. What the hell is wrong with me?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??