Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Help!!!!!

deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know what to do. My H said that he loves me and that I mean the world to him and that he is sorry that he hurt me. I think that he really believes that.

I thought we were trying to work everything out, but he eveidently either "destroyed" a substitute phone or has already got another one. He was texting again last night after he supposedly went to bed. He dropped the phone when I opened the door, and when I asked him what the noise was, he played if off like I was hearing things.

I'm sooo frustrated right now that I'm sick to my stomach. I feel like my heart is shattered into a million pieces.

How could he look me in the eyes and swear that he loved me and that I "am everything in the world to him", then go behind my back again so soon. I know it is only texting. But he's still trying to hide it from me. I feel like all my trust in him has been betrayed and that I will NEVER be able to trust him again.

I don't know whether to try to confront him again or just let it go until he gets careless again.

This is eating away at me and I don't know what to do. I want to try to save my marriage and I'm willing to forgive him. I just need him to tell me the truth.

Can anyone out there tell me how to make him tell me what's going on? Do I call the OW and ask her? What?
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you call the OW keep in mind she may or may not tell you the truth. She may tell you he is still talking to her,even if he is not just so you would get mad, kick him out and then she could have him (my H's OW tried this and got in a lie)OR she may be telling the truth if he is still talking to her. What I did was tell my H if he was really truly ready to end things with her then he had to play by my rules and hand his phone over to me for a few days. He was reluctant, but he did it. Now if she calls...she will be very unpleasantly surprised to hear my voice instead of his. Also tell him that even though the truth may hurt you, it hurts a whole lot more to be lied to. When my H was still talking to the OW he didn't tell me at first because he said he was trying to protect me. BS! He was trying to protect himself. The next time you catch him texting I would just tell him that you are still rebuilding your trust in him and you still need to verify every now and then that he is being honest and ask to see his phone before he has a chance to delete anything. If he doesn't have anything to hide he will show you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The thing is, the phone he is using is the one he is hiding from me. So even if I ask to see it, he will just deny that he has it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think he needs a wake up call. Leave his ass for a while. Don't let him think you're ever coming back. He needs a reality check as to what he's doing.
If you can't do that, how about a little taste of his own medicine? Set up a fake texting buddy for yourself and let him find it, or do it openly in front of him. See what he says about you acting like he is. I'd bet it'll give him a different perspective on his own behavior.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Shake the sugar tree. Give him a taste of his own medicine, or leave him.

You also need to know (really know) that you deserve better. Respect yourself, or he won't.
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