You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what was so wrong with you that made him cheat. it is bad enough that the spouses find fault enough in their minds as to why their cheating is justifiied-we dont have to help the cause by trying to imagine faults within ourselves. A person who cheats is a cheater and will justify hi/her actions and find a way to blame the other for thier own moral failing. i know from first hand experience that it is precious little comfort knowing you have the moral highround, but at least you can hold your head up whereas he cannot.

Angel,
I know these words seem very empty to you, for now, but believe me when before you know it you will be listening!
There really is nothing wrong with you! There is something wrong with the cheater! I have found that it has more to do usually with an insecurity within them. They have to prove that they still have what it takes to attract the opposite sex... may not want for it to ber permanent,, just kinds of turns out that way because we catch them and WE no longer want them!
You know deep inside that you are a good person and you are beautiful.. keep those feelings alive!!
Bless you and if you need to please feel free to lean on me or any of the other members here! We are here for you!

Oh please stop doing that to yourself...I did that too for awhile and then it hit me. WHY am I giving the OW the satisfaction of me destroying myself over the affair my husband had with her, it's bad enough she knows he destroyed me in that sense. I then tell myself the OW have no morals or values and only pry on cheating lying husbands of trusting wives. That they will grow old bitter and used and what decent man wants a whore anyways. It makes me feel better. REMEMBER it wasn't you !!! They stooped so low that the stink can't even reach you !!

Hey, you would never live up to the fantasy that is in their minds....
Accept it and love yourself for the beautiful person you are....

I know I felt the same way in the beginning, but now I look back over all that I have done and can't believe that I felt that way....

Count all the good things and all the accomplishments that you have done!!

I may not be the most beautiful, most smart person in the world, but I have raised two children and I always set a higher standard for them... And both turned out great....

So count all your life and it will help you get over these feelings...

Anyway, sometimes life sucks but that's life!!

It is guaranteed that his OW is also not perfect. She has flaws and imperfections. She's probably butt-ugly. We are all human. Stop comparing yourself to her.

i wonder the same thing maybe the men that cheat or woman that cheat are just putses and have no idea what true love is there for they see fit to rip our harts apart because they dont feel what we feel they just feel lust

Listen to me. If Halle Berry and Heather Locklear can be cheated on, it is not a question of being attractive, exciting, even rich......some men, some people, need to cheat because that is their thing. That is the thing that makes them feel good, or right, or wanted, or complete. So it would not matter what qualities you had. Look at your cheating X. How fab is he, to look elsewhere? Is he a gorgeous, smart, rich hunk? I thought not.

I agree with everyones answers, even though I am having a hard time dealing with the same issues! But like everyone said (my C says the same thing) cheating is not about us it is about the cheater! So far that has not helped me...

When is comes right down to it, cheating is ALWAYS about the ME and not about the relationship...
I keep asking why and I have gotten various answers... It is always what I needed or that I wasn't happy....
Do the cheaters think that the partner is happy while they are cheating??

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS,
IT IS ABOUT THEM BEFORE ANYTHING AND ANYONE ELSE.

I agree with Thriver on a lot of beautiful women and men are cheated on....
If they are not happy in the relationship, either work on it or leave it....