Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

2,289 Members
29,847 Posts
0 Online
Women's Health
/ Infertility Support Group

Why not me?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I need to write today so I don't sit here at work and cry my eyes out so I hope that's ok. I keep thinking those three words, "why not me?" Why is everyone else I know popping out babies left and right? What have I done that was so bad? Why do people who don't even want a baby popping them out? I'm coming to the realization that I won't be able to adopt ever. I'm fat, I've been on anti-depressants (who hasn't) and our combined income isn't enough to pass these new restrictions on places like China. Nothing seems to be working and there is more pressure than ever for it to work b/c it's my only chance. Am I being punished for something? I am a good person with a big heart. Am I just unlucky? Why can't I have what everyone else arounds me seems to have? Am I never going to have a family? A little girl or boy to take to Gramma's house for Christmas? I can't imagine my life without ever having a baby of my own. I wonder how many years we will continue to try. Does anyone else think this as well...why not me? Thank you for "listening."
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have those days too. We will get what we want, we WILL have a baby of our own to hold. Keep your chin up!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Girl, don't I know how you feel. Everyday I feel the same way, driving home from work I cry, watching tv I Cry, Why not me, when, when. All I can so is keep the hope, it's okay to feel this way sometimes.This will only make us stronger and better mother's.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Girl, I'm right there with you and I swear if I see another pregnant person or here one more person getting pregnant I'm going nutz. I fake a smile for everyone, but I'm dying inside. I feel at home here b/c everyone understands me......right there with you sweetie WHY!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow. I think you've spoken for a lot of people here. I often feel the exact same way. I've always considered myself lucky though, so I'm holding out hope.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm pretty sure we've ALL felt like you at one point or another--we have our good days and our bad days. Hang in there! Going through the IVF process has made me so emotional--I cried on Monday because I wanted to make Zucchini bread...?????
deleted_user
deleted_user
So many of us feel the same way you do coc,
we are all good people and would make wonderful mothers and yet so many people out there aren't and god gives them babies.
The real icing on the cake for me was to find out someone like Nicole Richie is pg after all the horrible stuff she has done to her body and her life. I just don't understand it and guess I never will. I will continue my journey and know that someday soon my dream will come true, it's all we can hold on to. If we don't have hope, we have nothing. It's nice to know I am not alone and that people understand what I am going through. This website has done wonders for me and my struggles.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have those days. Keep your head up and be strong. I can relate to the "why not me".
deleted_user
deleted_user
everithing is posible i try to conceive for 2 year and tuesday i got a surprise i got pregnant keep praying god knows when, and where i am sure youl get pregnant that is god wish, i red it at the bible and look me today i'm pregnant and i still not belived.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It like I wrote that myself. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for all of us.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its like, not only is everyone around you out to torture you but celebrities too? Is it just these past few years that it has been such a big deal, or only because I am aware of it now (that I know your feelings, word for word, and could have written them myself).
I am in a line of work where I talk to social workers often and get to hear about the women with X number of kids, different dads, etc. Its so hard.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know I feel the way you do all the time. I try to stay positive but it is so hard. I'm sorry for your pain I wish I could say the right thing to make it better but I can't. Just know that you are not alone, many of us feel just like you do.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can relate so much to what you say. My husband and I have been trying for two years and 3 months with no success at all.
I wonder why me, and I have come to realize that we are not being punished. Life can seem really unfair, but I believe in my heart all of us will become mothers some day, either by adoption or fertility treatments.
Please don't despair about adoption. China is very strict, but other countries will enable you to adopt even if you don't make a lot of money and take anti-depressants.
Lots of love and prayers,
Court
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh dear! Honey I think we have all asked this question time and time again.
I am sorry to hear about your day. I wish I had the answer. I'd be rich!!!!
Just know that we are here to listen.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow. I am overwhelmed by all of your responses. I cried a little but it was a good cry this time. I can't thank you enough. You have all made me feel better. Thank you thank you thank you! I wish I could see you all so I could give you a great big hug.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There ARE so many of us in that situation too. Unfortunately, some of you longer than others. But you are not alone. And I know we all try to be positive, but we can't help but ask "why not me!" I work with some questionable people who all have children of their own, and I asked my hubby last week, "Do I have to be like THEM to get what I/WE want?!?!" It's a hard road to tow. I have a cousin who just adopted a little girl from Guatemale or Venezuela-can't remember which. Would you like me to check her resources for you?
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: MrsMorris
    9
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
  • ainteasybeineazy

    It's my Birthday and no one cares

    Posted by: ainteasybeineazy
    Last Reply: cowhand1988
    62
    Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...