No they don't know how lucky they are...people say stupid ignormant things sometimes in front of us and there's nothing you can do about it. But what I think is hysterical and at the same time quite sad is when people are not happy about being pregnant or having an unexpected pregancy....it's called birth control people!!!

No they don't know how lucky they are...people say stupid ignormant things sometimes in front of us and there's nothing you can do about it. But what I think is hysterical and at the same time quite sad is when people are not happy about being pregnant or having an unexpected pregancy....it's called birth control people!!!

I don't blame you for feeling that way at all. People can be so selfish at times. My sister in law has 4 boys ranging from 11 yrs to 10 mths and all I ever hear her say is how tired she is and how she hasn't had a good night sleep in so long because one of them ends up waking up during the night and is awake for majority of the night. I get so frusterated with her. I tell my husband one day I'm going to say "you have no idea how much I wish I could complain about that and how happy I would be if I could actually complain about it." So many people just take children for granted and never stop and think about how they would feel if they were in our shoes. I support you 100% for being upset. Good luck and God Bless!

I think everybody has different issues. I know that we all feel particularly challenged in sympathizing because of our problems with fertility, but everybody has some kind of problem or other. I have a good friend who is unexpectedly pregnant with twins. She wanted more kids and her husband didn't. Her husband is so angry about the pregnancy that her entire marriage has fallen apart over the pregnancy. He ended up having an affair, she is divorcing him, and now she will have four kids under four years of age, including newborn twins, with no family support and not enough money. I'm not sure that her challenges are any easier than any of ours -- and she WANTS the babies. Imagine how rough it would be if she *hadn't* really wanted the kids. I just think that everyone deserves sympathy for whatever issues they are having to deal with.

I'm sorry about what you are going through. That must be hard to be having such a difficult time and not have your family understand. I don't know your brother's situation but I think I would go crazy if I know someone that close to me who was complaining about being pregnant. I guess they really don't know how lucky they are but hopefully one day you will know how lucky you are and you will never take being pregnant or a mom for granted!

You know, it's all about timing. For your brother, the timing is not right, so they are frustrated, because it's not how they planned it to be. In your case, you're planning to have a baby, and they beat you to the gun (accidentally). There's obviously gonna be frustration for you , I know I'd be frustrated. But I'm sure once they have the baby, and hold him/her they will change their minds.

Your brother and sister in law are in a situation you'll never understand - and you're in one that THEY can never understand. I, too, fail to see how a couple could not be excited to learn they have a baby on the way. My husband and I are very close with another couple. Their son is 4 months, almost 5 months old now. They had been using birth control (hormonol for her, condoms for him) and living very frugally, in order to pay off their college tuition and so on. They had decided as a couple that they would prefer to wait at least five more years (They've been married five already) to start trying. When they learned that Philip was on the way, they were devestated. Now, rather than have their firstborn start life in nice home big enough to support a family for that child's life, and rather than being financially secure, and rather than have even one parent settled in a stable job (the father is JUST getting going with realty - things have been tight for the last year or so)... he was born into a family that still owes a lot on student loans, and while they own their home, it's tiny and not really designed to house a child. They were shocked. Scared. Upset. But by the time she could feel her son moving inside, it started to become real - and more about the baby than them. By the time that baby was born, they were as in love as any parents I've ever seen.

Maybe right now, when the outward signs aren't so apparent, it's hard for them to take their eyes off themselves and look at their new son/daughter. I would imagine that as she starts to really show, and feel the baby... when he can put his hand on his wife's belly and feel his son/daughter moving... it will become real to them, and then they will (hopefully) be able to appreciate what a miracle it is.

I completely understand. It is hard to see others get pregnat so easily. Everyday we fight this battle & it is not an easy one. My advice to you is to listen as much as possible to your family member. It may be hard but one day you might need them to listen to your infertility problems.