Tomorrow is my niece's 4th birthday. She is the daughter of my husband's younger brother and his wife. My niece has always been kind of a sore spot for me since my brother-in-law got his girlfriend at the time pregnant about the same time that my husband and I got engaged. My in-laws then asked us to postponed the wedding for another year, because they felt obligated to help them financially with the baby. Since the parents were still in college at the time. My in-laws have some money and they insisted on paying for our wedding reception. Although I had told my husband that it would be fine for us to pay for the entire wedding ourselves. I really did not want a long engagement. So anyways, we finally got married in 2005 and started trying the year after. I had one m/c beginning of 2007 and have not been able to get pregnant again ever since. I have had all the fertility work up done and 2 IUIs w/o success. By the time we have our kids, my niece would be so much older than them. (That is if we would be so lucky). So tomorrow I have to put on a happy face at my niece's birthday party, eventhough I am pretty torn up inside. I feel like I can never say how I feel to anyone especially my husband, he is very close to his family and would not understand my frustration.
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