
Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

deleted_user
My younger sisters baby shower is Saturday. I am torn as to suck up my own feelings and go or not. I haven't gone to any baby showers in the past 7 years since my 1st miscarriage. I always send gifts, but never go.
However, I have been told that it is "cold" or somewhat mean that I don't go. While it is sad, that I don't have a baby of my own, I should be happy for my siblings and go to show support. I need to be happy for them. Anyway, my DH has also said on some level that maybe if I would have a better attitude about everyone else having babies that some of the good stuff would rub off on me. Basically, in a sense, I have bad karma because of my actions and feelings.
Also, to complicate things slightly more, this sister is the one who stuck up for me with our older sister when she wanted to use "my" baby name. Generally speaking we aren't very close and rarely speak, but despite that she stuck up for me. It actually brought me to tears when I found out what she had done.
So given everything, should I go?
However, I have been told that it is "cold" or somewhat mean that I don't go. While it is sad, that I don't have a baby of my own, I should be happy for my siblings and go to show support. I need to be happy for them. Anyway, my DH has also said on some level that maybe if I would have a better attitude about everyone else having babies that some of the good stuff would rub off on me. Basically, in a sense, I have bad karma because of my actions and feelings.
Also, to complicate things slightly more, this sister is the one who stuck up for me with our older sister when she wanted to use "my" baby name. Generally speaking we aren't very close and rarely speak, but despite that she stuck up for me. It actually brought me to tears when I found out what she had done.
So given everything, should I go?
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I went to my cousins baby shower and it helped that there was a quiet room I could escape to away from the party when I need space. Actually, I played some PS2 with her older son and we had fun.
I tried to avoid too much of the "happy" baby talk by tuning people out. Relaxing off to the side by myself or changing the topic to something more neutral away from "baby stuff."
I did stay for the gift opening since my cousin asked my to take photos. I'm a photographer so I was able to throw myself into the photography where I can "escape" behind the lens.
COuld you do something like that? Also, maybe just make an early appearance, wish your sister all the best and then leave before the worst of the crowd arrives.
In short, it's hard to watch, but I did it because my sister is my family and for us, you do and stand up for family.
This in no way means you need to go. I am really close to my sister. Since you are not close to your sister, do you feel that she would go to your baby shower if you had one? You might want to think about that too. Let us know how you make out!
When I was in my hometown this past Aug., I SWORE that I wouldn't hold my nephews newborn son. It was just too difficult. When my nephew brought that little fella over, I found that my heart wouldn't dare let me refuse. I held him for a good 20 min. When the emotions built up WAY to strong, I handed him over to my Mom, then fled to DH and cried.
A couple of months later, I was told that the little guy had a heart defect. I was so ashamed, of feeling jealous over the pregnancy and the existence of that tiny precious life. I try very hard, to not let those feelings encompass me. It's never easy and I pray alot.
Yes, I too get the "bad karma" thing. I've gotten it from my DH, his Mom, and alot of other people. As I've stated in a previous post to another member: I would rather have people tell me that they will pray for DH and I, then pat me on the head and say, when the time is right it'll happen. So my friend, I pray for you.
Attend if you feel you are able. If not, why don't you take the gift, and give it in person, to your Sis? Again, it might strengthen the bond. Good luck and prayers are being sent your way! Hugs too.
What if you go and if you feel overwhelmed, you leave. I am sure she would be so happy that you at least made an attempt.
What ever you decide, I wish you the best.
The baby shower is going to be out our mom's bed & breakfast so there really isn't any place to "escape" to.
I dont think that I am going to break down, but I just have a feeling of dread going. The last shower I went to I was miserable the entire time (7 yrs ago). It isnt that Im not happy for her as this is her 4th (I have 18 nieces and nephews on my side of the family alone).
So, if I do go then how do I explain that to my other sisters when Ive passed on their baby showers for the past 7 years?
I have decided to go for at least 30 minutes to make an appearance. To make things easier or less uncomfortable, I have enlisted the help of my wonderful husband. He is going to go with me as my partner in crime.
He's pretty attimate about the bad karma thing, so he gets to help fix it! He really is a good sport and doesn't have a problem going. I haven't asked my sister, but I'm pretty sure she'll understand and will enjoy having him there. He has quite the sense of humor and will keep things light and fun.