Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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PLEASE READ! I NEED HELP!

deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh my God. I dont know how to react to this but I really need to talk to you guys! I just got done having a discussion with my DH and he has the nerve to tell me that he wishes his priorities were as important to me as having a baby! I asked him what he was talking about and hes like, Welllike buying a house, and getting our credit scores up. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT??!! If having a baby isnt on the top of his priority list then what the hell am I going through all of this for? Sometimes I just feel like Im all alone in this struggle. I spend my days researching my problem and spend my nights telling him all about what I learned! I meanis that right? How do your ladies DHs help you through all of this? Do they all want to have a baby as bad as you do or are they just along for the ride? I just want to knock some sense into him! All I keep hearing about is how a lot of women on here wish they wouldve started trying sooner right? Especially if you know theres something wrong with you or DH and you need help right? I just dont want to be hating myself or my husband a few years from now for not trying hard enough when we have all of the tools we need to get started! Please shed some light on if I am the only one with this issue!!!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know my DH wants one as bad as I do so he is right in line with the thought process and we go over all the different things when we talk and he gets right into the conversation about helping me do the injections and what not. Now on the other hand he does bring up cost a lot and he is worried what this is going to do but he does say that he doesn't care if we are paying until the baby is 4. I know I had to confront him because he always sounded down about doing this and he tol dme no this is what he wants just worried about the financial. He just brought home a motorcycle so he is a very content guy right now so Im not to worried about him bitching about not getting things because of the IVF. I hope what he said just came out wrong or came across wrong and he is really there for full support for you!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your DH is probably just feeling a little less important to you then he used to. I had the same problem at first, but we talked about it, and worked through it. Going through infertility really tests a couple, you have to make sure you both communicate with one another, and not just about TTC or your troubles. Go catch a movie, go for dinner, something fun that you two used to do before your whole world became about TTC. I think we have all had that tunnel vision at one point while traveling this road, I have.

Take time to love one another the way you did when you first realized you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. It will make a difference to both of you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sometimes I feel like my husband doesn't care as much becuase he is really concerned about the cost. I just have to tell myself that men think differently than woman. This does effect us differently than them. I know he'll be elated when that baby is conceived
deleted_user
deleted_user
You guys are right...I know I'm over-reacting. But the thing is, we DO do fun things still, just us like ALL the time. We'll have the whole weekend to ourselves even and are planning to spend it fishing together and having some quite time. I just don't want him to feel pressured. He talks alot about how he really wants to have a baby with me soon but does not want to feel pressured. How do I know when he's pressured or not? I understand he doesn't have the same sort of inerest in researching infertility as I do, but you don't think I should get thrown off when he talks like that?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay so maybe he's not such an a hole after all...here's the email he just sent:

as you had mentioned, we both have priorities and much of the time they match up - sometimes we each have things that are important to one and not the same for the other... Having a child is one that we definitely both share - please no that I truly mean this when I say it, as I could think of nothing more amazing and wonderful than having a child together
I love you more than words could ever describe and look forward to enjoying the rest of my life with you
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so happy he sent you that note!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
that is a nice email your DH sent. just remember, men are wired differently than we are. they express their feelings differently and while they may not act like having a child is a priority, doesn't mean it's not. men also, in most cases, don't have to change anything that they do while trying to have a baby while our lives have to change completely. We are required to think about it much more. If DH is hard to talk to, just vent and talk here where you can get support.
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