Ok so tonight I am panicing. Probabaly for no reason and all for the wrong reasons. I am such a bad person. So my sister-in-law unfortunatly had a miscariage last month. It was a total shock... they had not even been trying.I feel so bad for them. They have only been married for a short time and are really young. They are not yet stable in life. So a baby would have been wonderful and perfect... don't get me wrong but would have been hard on them (again very much worth it).... But after the loss of their baby now they are all about getting pregnant. So I just found out that they have a surprise to tell us about and I'm thinking maybe they are pregnant. The thought of that makes my heart race... we have been trying for so long... everyone asks month after month when we are going to have a baby.... I can't help but think, no they can't have a baby right now... it's our turn...well at least can we both have them together. It's not that I don't want them to have a baby... please don't get me wrong.... but I want it to be my turn. Having these sort of feelings makes me feel awful. I felt this way when my sister found out she was pregnant with her sixth... but at the same time she has had so many that it didn't surprise any of us. But this time, with my sister-in-law I am feeling jealous and honestly mad.... and I don't even know what their surprise is.... I'm such a bad person....help!
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