I have 3 neices & 2 nephews whom I love with all of my heart as if they were my own. They often come to spend the night with me, & I get to play mommy for a little while. When I get to spend time with them I just feel so contented & happy. My 2 yr old neice is the light of my life, she will spend the whole day with me & we have such a good time, but when it is time to go to bed she starts to cry & says "I don't want svend dee night wif you I want mommy". Then I am reminded that I am not a mommy & no matter how hard I try to be the "fun" aunt I will never be the real thing.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??