okay so af showed up yesterday afternoon . I was so dissapointed I felt like this might really be my month .The effects of the clomid make me feel like I may have been pregnant my chest hurt I was starving and I was so bloated I tried to tell myself your not pregnant so when af showed up I wouldnt be too upset but when it did I had a meltdown part of me really believed I was pregnant I think I just wanted it soo badly this month. But after the meltdown I realized I have another month ahead of me I restart my second round of clomid and I take my vitamins and eat well . To all those who dont get a bfp this month we cant allow ourselves to have a pity party for more than a few hours its not going to help us get pregnant any faster. We can blame ourselves our bodies even our husbands sperm for why we arent pregnant right now but thinking negative only attracts negative we have to allow ourselves to think about positive thoughts go into your new cycle happy and stress free allow your self to enjoy the next few weeks instead of worring about the big O and the 2ww . I myself have been so caught up trying to analize every pain every tiny symptom and its gotten me no where.... mabe just mabe and I hate to say this ladies mabe we do just need to calm down relax not focus on ttc every minute of everyday because honestly I dont think I can live through another month of driviing myself crazy waiting for a symptom to show up. I have now devoted the last 10 months to ttc the monthly rituals of the big O and tww have taken over my life. after the big O I do not drink alcohol at all because I think what if , if my side hurts I think what if, if I feel as little warm I think what if, if I pig out one day I think what If . this month I am putting all of that out of my mind I will take my clomid I will do the baby dance and I will live my life "normally" sorry this post was so long but I feel like I have seen the light just a little bit and I wanted to share this with all of you. everyone else including our RE cant be wrong when they tell us we need to relax and not focus so much mabe we are just stubborn we want what we want so badly that we do whatever makes us feel like we have some control over the situation. LETS START A CARE FREE MONTH OF NO EXPECTATIONS AND NO WORRIES WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS
i LOVE YOU ALL ~~DEE