Hi! I'm a new member. I'm 36 and have been TTC for 8 years with no luck. We are trying to save up to try IVF which is our last hope at this point. I found out yesterday that my sister-in-law is pregnant again and I'm having such a hard time dealing with it for so many reasons. Mostly I'm just jealous which is tearing me apart, but I find it even harder to deal with since she has previously had an abortion and was cheating on my brother not even 8 months ago so we're not even sure if it's my brother's. I know I should be happy for them because they seem to have worked all their problems out and I will have a new neice or nephew to love but my heart just isn't in it. I've managed to deal with recently finding out that 3 of my friends are pregnant but now I have to find a way to get through the holidays with them announcing this to the rest of the family. My bro & sil already have a beautiful 3 yo boy that is the light of all our lives. I just keep asking myself what I'm doing wrong that I can't get pregnant. My DH and I want a family so bad. We have had 2 private adoptions fall through, one of them just recently. The baby is due in January but the mother changed her mind which we completely respect. It breaks my heart to not be able to give my husband the one thing he truly wants. Sorry to be so negative on my first post but the past 2 days I've felt like my last nerve is about to break. My mom and dad feel like that can't even be truely happy about their new grandchild because they want it to be us. I try not to talk negatively to my mom so she doesn't feel bad but she knows me too well. Well thanks for letting me vent. If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this over the holidays besides skipping family functions all together please let me know. Thanks for listening
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