I'm new around here too. I joined because I just don't know who to talk to. I mean, I can talk to my husband, don't get me wrong, but he can't fully understand how I feel. We got married in June of '06 and went to the OB to let her know we wanted to try to have kids. So she ran tests on me to see if I was a carrier for anything. Turns out I'm a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. So that sucks. But that's still not a big deal unless my husband has the gene too. So he gets tested. He's got it to. We decide to go the IVF route since they can genetically test embryos these days to make sure they don't have it. That's when we discover I actually have fertility problems. I have low ovarian function, that of a 38 year old instead of a 24 year old at the time. Still, they figured my chances weren't horrible. They retrieved 20 eggs. 18 fertilized. All 18 stopped developing at 4-6 cells. The doc's theory is that, since no other couple who had embryos in the same growth medium in the same medium had any problems, that my eggs probably all had genetic abnormalities. He basically said there's a slim to none chance I can ever conceive using any method with my own eggs. So my husband and I are looking at embryo adoption and regular adoption.

I'm still however having a really tough time dealing with the fact that I may never be able to have my own child. I will have now problem with an adopted child, as I love absolutely all children, but I have dreamt my whole life of being a mom. I've wanted to be a mom since I was little girl. It's hard to accept that I can't have my own child. Even though I found all of this out around August, I still have periodic episodes where I just start wanting to cry. That's why I have started looking for support groups. And of course, if support groups aren't enough, there's always therapy.

Anyway, so that's my story. Oh, and like lots of people have said, seeing pregnant people is driving me nuts. I find myself avoiding all situations involving babies or pregnant women.