My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. Initially we were told there was no medical reason for it not working, but then they tested my FSH level and found it was very high for a 32 year old. We have since had three failed IVF cycles and I found out recently that there is less than 10% chance of it working with my own eggs.We're thinking of egg donation. The reason for my post however is the traumatic life changes that I'm going through. I just can't imagine life without a family - there is nothing to replace that with. Even thinking about exciting adventures, travel, climbing mountains, charity work, what will it be like to have no children to spend time with in old age, to leave behind and to CARE FOR all our lives? Has anyone had to live with this? The worst thing is that it has turned my life upside down so much that our marriage is really suffering. And the WORST news is that I have been cheating on my husband for 3 months. I met someone wonderful, at a very vulnerable time in my life, and found that the despair was put off for a while in the excitement of new love. I am now in a bleak and miserable situation of having to say goodbye to someone I love in order to rebuild my marriage and try the next hard steps in a futile attempt to have children. I can't believe for a moment there is anyone out there who is in a similar situation, but any thoughts, advice and sharing of hard stories would be really welcome. Thank you!
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