I have a appt with the re monday I want to do a iui so yesterday I was explaining everything to dh and he was so unsupportive, He admitted to me a little while later that hes scared because he said a iui with drugs sounds like you have a better chance of getting pregnant. We have been trying for a year it makes me feel like the only reason we tried so hard for a year is because he knew something was wrong with me and that I wouldnt get pregnant on my own. I get physically sick at the thought of having to see my 19 year old brother in laws baby when its born I am filled with anger that wont go away I hurt inside I am reminded all day long that I am not a mother . so now I think dh wants to put iui on hold I am crushed and I am mad and I resent my husband I have done everything been to all the drs had all the test and now you tell me you think we should wait....... im sorry I have lost every last ounce of faith I had and nothing short of a miiracle will help restore that in me. Sometimes no words of encouregment from anybody can help bring you back up form such a low place. I dont want a pity party but I have never caught a break once in my life I had a rotten child hood I have been in terrible abusive relationships I have just never had a break and I cant continue to believe that this is gods plan for me. I am a good person I dont deserve this and I am angry about it thanks for listening to my vent I just feel mad at the world today
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