I am having a bit of a bad day too, so I understand kind of where you are coming from.

It is easy to say that it is not your fault that your body isn't cooperative. It is less easy to believe it. I try to look at it like any other medical problem; is it your fault if you were born diabetic? Nope, your body just isn't as good at producing insulin. In IF, your body just isn't as good at producing off spring.

In my case we are dealing with male and female factors. I feel let down by my body sometimes, but if I blamed myself, I'd have to blame my husband too, and that's not fair.

The more I talk about it, the better I feel. The less alone I feel. Guilt, anger and shame are all a part of IF as are so many other unpleasant feelings. Accepting that those feelings are a part of it and remembering that how you feel today is not permanent (especially on this roller coaster). It took a few months, but my husband learned what I needed and how not to take my moods personally. I learned how to help him too.

Also, you mentioned you are on Clomid, I know that alone made me crazy for a few days. Sometimes you just have to wait for that to pass.

I hope you feel better soon. HUGS

I'm having a bit of a shocker actually... Last night I noticed that I started spotting and when I checked my diary I realised that it has been 2 years to the date from when DH and I started trying... today when I woke and went to the bathroom, there was heavier spotting so this cycle is over once again... I feel like such a failure right now and I am even more concerned because in the 2 years I have never, ever had a positive result so I am not even sure if I can get pregnant, let alone carry to term... I just feel so depressed right now, and now I have started getting the first signs of period pain which is making it even worse

It's in the air I have cried off and on all day. More a combination of things, I think it all just trickles down.

I think we all go through the same feelings. I have often felt less than a woman. I just have to FOCUS on the things that bring happiness. YES I know that its easier said than done! ITS SO FREAKING HARD!! We all just want to close this chapter and move on. Please stay strong

I understand how you feel sweetie! Trust me I do...today my fiance told me he'd like to have 2 more kids (he has 2 already, I have none) and I thought to myself "Sheesshhh...I can't even give you 1 more baby let alone 2" - It did make me feel like a failure, and not a complete woman.

I don't get it, really I don't...why us woman who are so ready to nuture and care for a baby can't get one, yet other's who are druggies, and/or just young and not prepared or even capable of caring for themselves get babies.

I'm sorry your down, I know it's hard, but as much as I don't take my own advice...I need to...and that is WE NEED TO BELEIVE AND TRUST IN GOD THAT IT WILL HAPPEN FOR US, THAT IT IS IN OUR PLAN!

Keep the Faith girly!

I know exactly what you mean. Af started last night after my sixth cycle of chlomid. I feel exactly the same as you do and my husband tries, but he just doesn't understand. I really struggle with the feeling like I need to keep apologizing to him every cycle that it doesn't work. Hang in there - you are so not alone.

i honestly don't know how to combat those feelings. its been almost 4 years since we first started ttc, 2 mc's and 3 IUI's later i am on anti-depressants and on a break from everything related to having a baby. but i still think about it all the time and wonder why me. why is my body not fit to carry a child. and if i ever get pregnant again how will i relax and not think everyday that i might mc again. its so sad that we must feel this way, but the women on here are so wonderful and are the best support through all this. just keep the faith that things will get better. good luck with everything. xo

I'm struggling today too. I think that we all battle the anger and feelings of disappointment. I think it just comes with all the frustration of not feeling completely whole. I know sometimes my husband gets frustrated when i get depressed when my AF starts. I think we as women handle the emotions differently. I find that talking with everyone here at DS helps with the all my emotions as I know now that i'm not alone and going crazy. I hope that you have a better day tomorrow.

Ugh, yesterday was a horrible day for me TOO!

I received a package in the mail from Snapfish, I hadn't ordered any pics, so I was not sure what it was. When I opened it, it was a few photos of my hubby and I with our Godson, from his Christening, my friend sent them. I LOST it! I kept thinking, here is the only photo of us that we'll ever have with a baby, and it's not even ours!

Ugh, I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it.
Hope everyone has a better day today.

Big hugs to everyone that had a bad day.