As the holidays approach, and the pictures of happy families going to the pumpkin patches have started popping up on Facebook, I've begun to grow sadder. And, I am not looking forward to the happy family holiday cards that will be arriving next in the mail. You know, the ones with the little ones all dressed up looking oh so adorable? Sadly for us, this year our "family" Christmas card will star our beagle, whose mommy loves her so much (maybe too much). I've begun the process of IF testing since I've had two miscarriages this year. Both were blighted ovums. "The blastocyst did not contain the material that is required to create a fetus. Therefore, there were no chances that either pregnancy would have continued. There was never a fetus present within the gestational sacs" to quote the warm and fuzzy explaination I received. Our first due date was Dec 7th so it would have been baby's first Chirstmas. Or at least that's the visions that immediately came to mind when I was told my due date at the dr's office. But to some people, those losses didn't count. No baby was lost? Then it doesn't count as a loss. It's still my loss of first Chirstmas, first words, first steps...then Easter egg hunts, first days of school, and those darn pumpkin patch visits. All of which at this point, I'm not sure we'll ever have. I'm new to this forum and just felt like expressing what has weighing on my mind heavily lately. I'm certain many of you who do not have children yet have some of the same feelings where holidays are concerned. I guess I'd just like to hear that I'm not the only one who isn't feeling the upcoming holiday cheer.
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