
Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

LJPage95
My husband and I are almost to the end of our year off TTC. My fam. prac. thought it would be good to start with testing DH's sperm count and based on the results, go from there.
But DH won't get tested. He is so afraid that he's 'shooting blanks' that he doesn't want to find out.
I think in the end, he'll realize that putting me through the 2WW every month is harder than his one time test which may show that everything is fine.
Does anyone have any advice on how to convince him to get the testing done? He is a very gentle, sweet person...so I'm not dealing with someone who can be really obtuse. And I get why he is uncomfortable.
Also, I was looking online at a sperm count/mobility etc. test that is a home kit and you are given the tools to decipher what you see through the little microscope. Has anyone tried that?
What about the fertility aid, fertility blend, mucus...viatmins?
But DH won't get tested. He is so afraid that he's 'shooting blanks' that he doesn't want to find out.
I think in the end, he'll realize that putting me through the 2WW every month is harder than his one time test which may show that everything is fine.
Does anyone have any advice on how to convince him to get the testing done? He is a very gentle, sweet person...so I'm not dealing with someone who can be really obtuse. And I get why he is uncomfortable.
Also, I was looking online at a sperm count/mobility etc. test that is a home kit and you are given the tools to decipher what you see through the little microscope. Has anyone tried that?
What about the fertility aid, fertility blend, mucus...viatmins?
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For my DH & I, I pretty much told him, "Dr said 1st step is SA". And he went - I must admit I would have been pretty upset with him if he didn't go for it.
From what you write about him he seems like he kind of guy you can talk to.
Maybe you can go with him to your Fam pract & they can explain that the reason the start there is that it is not invasive - the tests that they will run on you WILL probably be invasive.
Open a dialogue with him about what starting a family means to you (& him).
Hopefully this will all straighten itself out. GL! :)
About the fertility aid/fertility blend, it increased my bleeding for a cycle. DH had worst test results on the fertility aid. He had a normal result without it.
Honestly, I understand why he is not comfortable. The doctor's office can be intrusive. It feels strange to the guys. I would try to ask him to use the home kit.
I brought home cups and drop off at the lab within the hours. It was indicated that he had 0 sperm twice in a row. When he was tested at the lab directly, he was found enough for IVF. I can only think that the hour damaged the sample?
Regardless, explaining to him the importance of this being the first step, hopefully he will understand. Good luck!
DH was like that at first. He didn't want to go to the hospital to give his sample. So I said fine, we'll do some of my tests first and then do yours. First was the normal exam, then the blood work and bbt charting, and then the HSG, which for me was very ver painful. After seeing all the testing I had to go through, a couple of minutes alone with a cup wasn't so bad. Fair is fair though, so when he went to see the urologist I had to stay in the room for the prostate check. Good times.... LOL!
Maybe your dh just needs a little more time to adjust to the idea and the fact that it MUST be done.
Good luck!
My DH was VERY unwilling in the beginning so we just started with me. As I began to talk about what they were doing to me (I didn't even make him come with me) he came around and went for his SA.
He still complains every time he has to give a sample for IUI or IVF but when I talk to him and remind him what a great end of the stick he gets compared t me he usually gets quiet and just goes along with the flow.
Good luck and just try and support him as much as you can!
i wish you the best. stay strong... it sounds like you have an open and honest relationship, so that will help tremendously.
I went through the same thing with my husband. He is also a very gentle and sweet man and we have been through more together than most people our age would imagine in their worst nightmares. Even though I have stood by him through some of the most frightening and gut wrenching things I hope I can ever imagine, he was still nervous about what I would think of him if the tests came back showing that his sperm was the reason we weren't getting pregnant. To add to just the general anxiety all normal, healthy mean seem to have, he was injured in an accident years ago that left him with only one functioning testicle and no idea if the vas deferens was intact. This made him even less inclined to get the test done, becuase we aleady had a pretty good idea of what the results would be.
I think it was a combination of things that finally convinced him to get the test. 1) Me reassuring him that I would not think any less of him regardless of the results. That I loved him and that wasn't going to change one ounce if the test came back with the worst. 2) Him seeing what I was going through - six months of clomid and all of its wonderful side-effects, an HSG that they had to do twice, and cysts so huge i was doubled over in pain and practically fell down every time I sneezed for like two weeks after they burst. 3) Me finally coming out and asking him point blank if he really wanted a baby or not, becuase I was starting to feel like I was in this alone. If he wasn't even willing to have one test done then I wasn't sure I believed him that we were in this together.
In the end, he had the test and it actually came back with more promising results than we were expecting.
I agree with the other ladies here - it sounds like you have a man you can talk to (which, in itself, is a blessing) and I think your best route is definitely to reassure him of your feelings for him and, if that alone doesn't work, ask him how much he really wants to have a baby. Don't worry - he WILL come around and get brave enough to have the test done.