Oh sweetie - Good luck.
For my DH & I, I pretty much told him, "Dr said 1st step is SA". And he went - I must admit I would have been pretty upset with him if he didn't go for it.

From what you write about him he seems like he kind of guy you can talk to.

Maybe you can go with him to your Fam pract & they can explain that the reason the start there is that it is not invasive - the tests that they will run on you WILL probably be invasive.
Open a dialogue with him about what starting a family means to you (& him).

Hopefully this will all straighten itself out. GL! :)

I'm sorry your hubby is so scared ot have it done. I pretty much did the same thing as Z1977, I made him an appointment and told him about it. He wasn't thrilled, as I'm sure most of our DH's arent, but he did it willingly. Had he not gone, I wouldn't have been a happy girl. All my testing had come back normal so we were thinking that the problem might be him but after we got the results back from his SA, it was quite obvious that I alone am the problem. Your hubby might be pleasantly surprised with the results. You'd figure that with all the stuff we have to go through, being poked and prodded in every way imaginable, that doing something that a lot of men do on a regular basis anyway wouldn't be that big of a deal. I hope he changes his mind.

I am with the other girls... My OBGYN gave me a cup for DH and I broght it home and said here do this and drop it off at the hospital... (I think it helped him to be able to do it at home) He was not happy and put it off until I had to say okay you must do this today... then he did... so I would just telling him how hard this is and that if there is an abnormality in the SA then you will not see him differently... maybe if you pour your heart out he will be more willing to "expose" his self... =) GL

Tell him you need to know! Once they rule him out they can move on to see whats wrong with you. If you skip his test an get all these test on you to find out it was wasted time cause your fine yall will be pretty upset. He should be glad his test is simple an far from painfree. My hubby was scared as well but he knew he had to do it. Have the doctor talk to him about getting it done it might help.

Okay, we have been there. The home test kit is less invasive. He may be open to that. We use a kit without a microscope.
About the fertility aid/fertility blend, it increased my bleeding for a cycle. DH had worst test results on the fertility aid. He had a normal result without it.
Honestly, I understand why he is not comfortable. The doctor's office can be intrusive. It feels strange to the guys. I would try to ask him to use the home kit.

We did SA at the very ending of all my testing...months of various testing. My husband was resistant but went along with it. I have to admit some irritation with the Dr. for doing the SA testing last.

I brought home cups and drop off at the lab within the hours. It was indicated that he had 0 sperm twice in a row. When he was tested at the lab directly, he was found enough for IVF. I can only think that the hour damaged the sample?

Regardless, explaining to him the importance of this being the first step, hopefully he will understand. Good luck!

Maybe do one of your tests first and MAKE him come in and watch. Once he sees what you have to go thorough, a couple of minutes alone with a cup won't seem so bad.

DH was like that at first. He didn't want to go to the hospital to give his sample. So I said fine, we'll do some of my tests first and then do yours. First was the normal exam, then the blood work and bbt charting, and then the HSG, which for me was very ver painful. After seeing all the testing I had to go through, a couple of minutes alone with a cup wasn't so bad. Fair is fair though, so when he went to see the urologist I had to stay in the room for the prostate check. Good times.... LOL!

Maybe your dh just needs a little more time to adjust to the idea and the fact that it MUST be done.

Good luck!

It sounds like you DH is a reasonable man but is just scared. I would say go with what everyone else has been saying and just talk to him.

My DH was VERY unwilling in the beginning so we just started with me. As I began to talk about what they were doing to me (I didn't even make him come with me) he came around and went for his SA.

He still complains every time he has to give a sample for IUI or IVF but when I talk to him and remind him what a great end of the stick he gets compared t me he usually gets quiet and just goes along with the flow.

Good luck and just try and support him as much as you can!

this can be so hard for both you and DH... i understand. i think maybe the home kit would help him to feel more comfortable... at least to get used to the idea of being part of this process. DH and I did a home kit, but did not do the one with the microscope. Basically, it was similar to a HPT. if the color was lighter than the control color, that showed a lower count than the standard. it does not tell "how" low. But.. it's an inexpensive way to start. After that initial at home test, but husband has been an equal part in this whole process.
i wish you the best. stay strong... it sounds like you have an open and honest relationship, so that will help tremendously.

I am going through the same thing now. I go in for an HSG on Wed and I told him he needed to schedule a SA. He blew me off for 3 days! I finally lost it and asked him if he really wanted to do any of this and have a baby. He told me that test results would only lessen his hope. So he was better off not getting tested on the chance that the results would be bad....how crappy!! I finally started crying and got so upset that he agreed to do it. I hate I had to pull out the tears, but men can be so freakin sensitive when dealing with their manhood....lol. Good luck. Hopefully he will come around soon.

First of all - good luck!!!

I went through the same thing with my husband. He is also a very gentle and sweet man and we have been through more together than most people our age would imagine in their worst nightmares. Even though I have stood by him through some of the most frightening and gut wrenching things I hope I can ever imagine, he was still nervous about what I would think of him if the tests came back showing that his sperm was the reason we weren't getting pregnant. To add to just the general anxiety all normal, healthy mean seem to have, he was injured in an accident years ago that left him with only one functioning testicle and no idea if the vas deferens was intact. This made him even less inclined to get the test done, becuase we aleady had a pretty good idea of what the results would be.

I think it was a combination of things that finally convinced him to get the test. 1) Me reassuring him that I would not think any less of him regardless of the results. That I loved him and that wasn't going to change one ounce if the test came back with the worst. 2) Him seeing what I was going through - six months of clomid and all of its wonderful side-effects, an HSG that they had to do twice, and cysts so huge i was doubled over in pain and practically fell down every time I sneezed for like two weeks after they burst. 3) Me finally coming out and asking him point blank if he really wanted a baby or not, becuase I was starting to feel like I was in this alone. If he wasn't even willing to have one test done then I wasn't sure I believed him that we were in this together.

In the end, he had the test and it actually came back with more promising results than we were expecting.

I agree with the other ladies here - it sounds like you have a man you can talk to (which, in itself, is a blessing) and I think your best route is definitely to reassure him of your feelings for him and, if that alone doesn't work, ask him how much he really wants to have a baby. Don't worry - he WILL come around and get brave enough to have the test done.

I think you should see a specialist together and let them tell him what he needs to do. Also, it might be helpful if he understands all the testing you will have to undergo and that you are in this together regardless of results.

I had the same problem with my DH. The doctors usually tell you to test him first, but I was tested first and found out I had PCOS, but very mild. When we still didn't get pregnant, he still wouldn't get tested. Doc told me he needed to and that my next step was a Hysterosalpingogram. I had to explain to DH what they did the first time I was tested and what they would do the second. I then told him it wasn't fair for me to keep going through all that if he wouldn't at least take a simple little test. After much coaxing he finally did it. I think your DH sounds like he will come around, but for some men it just takes time. I definitely agree with the JaimeTB when she says to reassure him you will love him and suppotr his despite the results. I tried to make sure I was very loving with my hubby after we got his results back as he unfortunately is shooting blanks. I don't want him to feel like less of a man.

You can actually take the sample at home if you live within I think 45 minutes of where it can be tested. You have to keep it warm...they told us to either keep it between our legs or under the arm pit. It is better to do it at the doctors just because of the time factor but maybe he will do it this way the first time...