it took everything i had to go to that b-day party today. my bf baby that i watch all the time and love to spoil and play with had her first b-day today it was so hard for me to go i wanted to back out and on the way there i wanted to turn around and go home ---i know its wrong for me to feel this way. but before all these baby issues i was a active member of my church nursery, and just loved to be around kids in general --slowly but surley i have worked through the being around kids part but still cant help but feel sorry for myself when i am around my bf baby. i very close to her and her baby and since she is single and like to go out on the weekends i volunteer to watch her baby all the time and the only time i feel weird aorund the baby is when im around them both because she knows how badley i want to have a baby and i think she feels like i'm living out my desire to have a child through her child because i do what ever i can for her baby and she doesnt mind asking me to buy her anything. does anybody else feel this way?
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