What's sex?

Oh I remember...that thing people do in the movies because they love each other, not because they are ovulating and it is the right time!

During times of the month that me and DH are TTC he gets so stressed out that he can't perform and we miss very important days.I try not to show my frustration. It becomes a stressful chore for him.

It is actually our jobs that mess us up. 24 hour shifts then a second job or he is just to tired!!!

aw, i am sorry it is that bad. when I am ovulating it isnt fun for me, its all i think about...is it going to be this time? But when we arent trying we still have fun. Try something sporadic and kinda sexy but not forceful foreplay. If you go into fooling around thinking he might say no, then go slowly and try and just take it one thing at a time. Hopefully it will get better soon. Here is to lighting a candle and being flirty just because.

It is VERY hard to have sex, "just for fun". It becomes business-like and just another "thing" that needs doing. When DH and I were TTC, our sex life went down the toilet. Stress affected us both and when conception didn't happen, it was even worse than before. DH kept having SA tests done and his sperm count dwindled to nothing at all. We were so hopeful that the vasectomy reversal worked. Well, it did for a while. Now, there is no other hope but IVF. After DH's urologist told him that we would never conceive naturally, we have both felt relief. Our sex life is slowly returning to what it was, before all of the TTC drama. What keeps us going, is the fact that even when times get tough, we are still in love with each other, and still highly committed to achieving this thing called parenthood. Keep the faith and remember, no matter what happens.... You still love each other. Don't let the dream of a baby, wipe out the love you two have for each other. My DH and I almost had that happen to us. It's the love the two of you share, that will create that child, whether by natural or clinical means. My prayers are with you. Please keep the faith and pursue that baby dream.

i also feel like it's a second job. It's soo hard to be romantic and enjoy it when all you can think about is having a baby.

I'll only want sex for one week. And that's usually right before, during, and right after my ovulation. Then I feel I am done for the month. My poor husband. We have been working on "bedroom issues" before we found this out. He had a problem with having sex with me after his father walked out on teh family the day after christmas this past year. So we got him all better............not I suck! LOL!

*now (not not) I suck

That was funny Chelle! When we were doing the IUIs I didn't realize that you could have sex and I was so freaked out about doing something that was going to make it not happen we didn't have sex till the last IUI when my RE said that we should. My poor DH. I think he flew home from work that night when I told him the RE recommended that we BD after IUI. It is hard to get back in the swing of things though when it feels like you've just been having sex to conceive for the past few years.

Sex feels like such a job!! My friends always used to love to talk to me about sex because my DH and I have always had such an adventurous, fun sex life. Now its totally not even sexy...its just like give me the "stuff" and thats all i need. Half the time we dont even take all our clothes off!! so sad... I keep thinking that when we get pregnant the pressure will be off and it can go back to normal but i know thats not really true. Dont get me wrong we do have some, really great spontaneous sex but the BD sex is a chore.

Glad to hear others feel the same... Misery loves company!

...and here I thought it was just me - the pressure - I can't take all the pressure!

I could care less about SEX right now! It's horrible but I'm so over it. My IF is pre-menopausal so I think I'll forever be hopeless - at least I have him trapped legally. LOL jk My dh is wonderful about it.

Thankfully we have not had any problems that way...but we really try hard not to let TTC consume our lives....we have little chance of conceiving naturally, so all we can do is have fun......it is all in God's hand anyway....

I agree with Charley26, what is sex?
Since we are doing IVF, BD is for fun or love now. But, we have to avoid certain times b/c o fmy meds and then he has to do it so many days before giving samples but not too many days before, etc, etc, etc...