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fostering a child

deleted_user
deleted_user
Four years ago we fostered a little boy. He was 5 when he came to live with us, & he stayed with us for about a year. We got to experience his first day of school, loosing his first tooth, & spending Christmas with a child. It was wonderful for the most part, but he had alot of problems due to him being physically, emotionally, & sexually abused. He had been neglected so bad that at the age of 5 he still didn't know how to use a fork or spoon. He has been gone from our lives for a while now, & I still miss him everyday. I've been thinking alot lately about becoming a foster parent again. I'm just scared that because time has gone by that I am forgetting all of the turmoil & heartache that we went through. When he left we swore that we would never foster again. I'm nercous about bringing this topic up again with my husband. Advice please!!! (thanks for listening, I know this was long)
MicheleOneL
MicheleOneL
I think the best thing to do would be to discuss it with your husband, onlt because he was the one to have experienced it with you and can tell you if you've forgotten the worst of it. You did an amazing thing and probably were that child's first experience of love and trust. You should feel so good about that!! I imagine those feelings would make you want to do it again and I can't blame you but as you know, you and hubby are in it together!! However it works out, be happy! You're a good person.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i'm a foster parent and yes losing my last foster baby was the worst...but I am ready to accept another into our lives and one of these days we will get to adopt one of these miracles. I find comfort that for the short time we foster these kids gives them a good foundation and we should be proud of ourselves for that....good luck keep us posted
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband and I were foster parents. DCFS asked us to fill out a survey which asked about the children that we would have in our home, whether or not we would foster someone who had been sexually abused etc. DCFS said the most important relationship was that between husband and wife and that they would never do anything to jepoardize that relationship. I wonder if your system would be the same and you could start out by fostering a child with not as many "issues." Maybe that would make your DH more comfortable. But the issue or reunification with biological parets remains. I think that will always be heartbraking and difficult, but I agree with amy, it is a wonderful thing to be a foster parent, one that comes with so much joy. Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Of course it would have to be something you and your hubby both want to do... but I have so much respect for those who become foster parents! It's a huge responsibility. I'm not sure I could do it...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe you should post this in the Adoption forum. You may find more people that have been in your situation and can advise you a bit better. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe you could just say something like "Do you ever think of "Billy" and wonder where he is?" Then your DH will be able to express his feelings about the situation and not feel like you are trying to get him into anything. If he still has very real feelings of being upset, then you'll know he's not ready. But maybe just bring up the child in conversation and see where he takes it...
Good luck, it takes deeply wonderful people to be foster parents!
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