So need a reality check and for someone to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself long story short married to my husband for 11 years and raised his two children from a previous marriage (their biological mother passed away when they were very young). Husband had vasectomy reversal in 2007, started my first round of IUI in early 2008, 13 IUI rounds later we were finally referred for IVF.. IVF is a no-go now due to the fact that I have now hit the magical age of 40, had one bad FSH test in March and I did not respond to the IVF medications only one follicle after all the injections, etc.. The doctors are now saying that there is no hope. My husbands sperm motility and counts are very low and now we are adding my age issues to the mix. To make matters worse, my 18 year old step daughter (who I have raised and have NEVER treated as a step child) got pregnant and had our wonderful grandson Noah. He turned one a few days after we found out that there was no way we would have a baby. I know that I am extremely blessed. My husband adores me, my two children (step) love me and our grandson is a true blessing. However, I cannot control my emotions and I am finding that I feel angry/sorry for myself. This is not me. I am that happy go lucky person that runs with whatever life hands me. Why am I so sad and angry? I do not want this to destroy me but feel as though the last three years have changed who I am. After reading some of the posts I know that I am not alone but I do feel alone. Most of my friends had their children when they were young and do not understand why a 40 year old would want to start again. I am the youngest of 12 children and have ALWAYS wanted children of my own. Not sure where the time went but I guess I missed the baby bus!
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