Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

2,543 Members
29,914 Posts
0 Online
Women's Health
/ Infertility Support Group

Do you tell people?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I was just wondering if you ladies tell people when you are going through a treatment? Our last IVF cycle we pretty much just told family members. When we got our BFN last Monday it was the worst thing having to call everyone and tell them the news. Everyone knew what day we were getting out Beta test and I felt like I had to relive that call over and over again. My mom had a knee replacement surgery that day and the first thing she asked my dad when she woke up was if he'd heard anything from me. I felt like I was adding to her pain by telling her it didn't work. We will probably be doing an FET in January and I feel like keeping it a secret even from family.

Sometimes I just wish I could be like everyone else and be able to just announce a pregnancy without everyone knowing every detail of my treatment.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We've done IVF four times and each time we've told people differently. One time we didn't tell anyone, I got the BFN and we went on a family vacation. It was really difficult to pretend like everything was OK. We've decided that what works best for us it to tell people but not be specific. I overestimate that day of beta by about a week so I have time to recover before everyone starts bugging us. We also have a strict don't call us we'll call you policy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry that your IVF didn't work this time.

About telling people: DH and I will be more discreet in the future. So far I have told all of my closest friend's and family and they have been incredibly supportive and (for the most part) sensitive to our IF. But I am just so tired of discussing it with so many people. I feel like going over and over the details just stretches the pain out with every BFN. So we've decided to keep our next IUI details to ourselves in the same way that non-IF couples who are TTC don't tell the world every time they have sex!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I only told my family. They were so excited for me. As for friends, i am now 7 weeks pregnant after IVF, and because i live in a diff country to my good friends, i still have not told them. i said i was doing IVF but did not give details.
take care and all the best
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've told bits and pieces to different people, but I had an ectopic in Sept and only told two friends afterward. I didn't give them all the details and I just told them we are going to be "trying again" in Jan -- but didn't tell them I'm doing IVF.

I know they all wonder (family included) but it's just really hard for me to talk about, and I don't want them to all feel sorry for me (they probably already do though!)

Just hang in there and do what is best for your emotional stability.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It might help to have one person you tell who then tells everyone else. My church, work, family and friends know by now (obviously different levels of knowledge), but I have one or two girls who I tell what is going on and let them know if I want them to get the word out. I can't believe you were able to call a bunch of people, you impress me, I couldn't have done it.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • GrassIsGreen

    acknowlodging

    Posted by: GrassIsGreen
    Last Reply: GrassIsGreen
    15
    I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
  • Ilovethekitties

    OT My last day with USPS will be 2-27-15

    Posted by: Ilovethekitties
    Last Reply: GiphyOlivia
    21
    I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...