I am so sorry. I don't know what to say except try and talk to your mom. Does she understand what EXACTLY you have been...my God, you lost a child! I would think they would especially sensitive to you and your feelings. Maybe if you sit them down together and try to talk to them? I am so very sorry.

This makes me so sad! It happens to me in my husband's extended family. After I've had 3 traumatic losses they ooh and aww over his cousin who is expecting the "first Grandson"! I'm sorry. I know it stings. I would expect your mom to be sensitive, but she probably hasn't been in your shoes. My mom isn't the most sensitive about this stuff either.

IF THEY WOULD SEND ME THINGS LIKE THAT I WOULD JUST SEND THEM BACK TO THEM . YOU NEED TO SEND THEM THAT TEARSOFHOPE THING THAT WAS POSTED ON HERE BEFORE. THE VIDEO. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Do they think they are helping? Do they get how hurtful they are being?
Argh!

I agree with scarlet101. I would send them the link for the video on tearsofhope.com. I just sent it to my brother to explain why I won't be attending the ultrasound/baby shower on Friday night. My family has not been at all supportive either...my little brother and his wife of 7 months will be giving my mom her first grandchild in Feb.

I was about to respond and tell you to send them the link to Tearsofhope also. Maybe it will give them a little glimpse of what you are going through.

I would suggest talking to them and trying to explain things. If they are poor listeners maybe a note explaining things would get them to hear you better, but make sure your available for questions they may have. I also like the idea of sharing the tearsof hope video. However if in the end they are unable to hear you and understand where you are, then just know that you have tried and they are just not able, for whatever reason to be there for you. In the end do not feel bad for protecting yourself from things that hurt you or remind you of painful things. You should never apoligize for that.

I am so sorry that you are getting this response from your family. Most people just don't understand how it feels if thay have never been through it. The only advice I can give you is to immerse yourself in this website/community so that you feel surrounded by heaps of the nicest caring people who totally understand what you're going through.Try to limit communication with people who don't understand and/or make you feel bad. It's not fair and nobody has the right to make you feel like that no matter who they are. You and your DH are the most important people at the moment so take time to look after and care for yourself. You have the right to talk about your problems whenever you need to, especially with your family. Just remember, if you need someone, i am here for you always. Thinking of you xxx

Im just getting to this topic and Im in tears...... Cindy, so sorry that you dont have an understanding mom when it comes to this. Infertility is a VERY sensitive subject NOT everyone understands. WE here at DS KNOW how you feel. DS ladies are my extended family & I love to come here and share my thoughts and feeling! I tried to talk to close friends and family and they all say "Oh, it will happen"! Then "someonw pops up pg and rubs it in your face OR at least you feel like they are! Just know that DS ladies are here for you and we understand!