been there, done that. at first all i heard was whatever you want is what i want. well after a year of trying for what i want it finally dawned on him that he may never get the opportunity to be a father and the lightbulb went off over the top of his head. it took a lot of nagging (and i am not a nag) and talking and sometimes fighting then we decided to go into therapy. partially b/c if our infertility issues and mostly b/c of his "yes dear" issues. therapy was the best thing we ever did for ourselves. you need moral support thru all of this and he needs to know that he has to be a supportive husband. what i found was that my husband was just very scarred and the best way for him to deal with it was to ignore it. but that won't work forever! good luck to you!

THANKS ERIN..MUCH NEEDED..AND YES HE IS A YES DEAR KINDA GUY... BUTU I JUST FEEL LIKE I NEED SOME ENCOURAGEMENT AT HOME

OMG, my DH acts the same way! In his defense we decided years ago we didn't want kids, but it was always a possibility. But now, when I ask him his feeling about it (b/c sometimes he gives me a hard time about stuff), he says he's "indifferent" LIke u said, what does that mean?? I keep saying, are u sure u want to have kids, and he says if it makes u happy then yes. Men can be so difficult. If he was doing something I didn't want, he would know for sure how I felt. I think sometimes he might be afraid to admit he doesn't and then I would leave him. then I think that is being paranoid. I have tried and tried to get him to tell me what i fear the truth is and no such luck. So I gave up and all i can do is believe that he wants to do this. With all the stress we are going thru, I really can't dedicate the time trying to disect the way he chooses to communicate with me...good luck

One more thing...one of the reasons i found this website was b/c I felt like DH couldn't relate to what i was feeling. Not sure if its right or wrong, but all the kind girls here help me from having to blab to DH about every little thing. So he's none the wiser, and thinks that thngs are normal again. Now I find him asking me questions b/c I am not consuming our life with infertility. I sometimes forgot to tell him stuff b/c I get more satisfaction from this site....hahaha

I completely understand... my DH was about two years behind on the 'Emotions of IF" journey... men generally tend to realize things much later than we do... it takes them more time to digest when things are going wrong... my advice is do couples counseling for communication... we did it and it helped us SO much. Also, give him some time... he doesn't deal with IF every day like you do... it's in your body... for him it's just something that's happening outside his body. He will come to terms, it's just going to take time.