
Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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I'm new here so forgive me if this is an old topic. My husband and I have been ttc for 4 yrs with no luck whatsoever. We are in a situation now where we simply have to hope that it'll happen. What bothers me is that all of our friends and family (especially those we've only started spending a lot of time with in the last year or two) seem to think that us getting pregnant will just happen. It always makes me so mad when they say something like that - as if 4 yrs of trying isn't a sign that it's not going to just happen.
So are there any statistics on the percentage of women who try for 4 yrs without any success at all (no miscarriages or anything like that - sad when you consider miscarriage success), how many of them eventually do conceive? Sometimes I feel like if I could come back with real numbers, they'd just shut up already. It just makes me so mad when they act like it's just gonna happen like if I might just win the lottery.
So are there any statistics on the percentage of women who try for 4 yrs without any success at all (no miscarriages or anything like that - sad when you consider miscarriage success), how many of them eventually do conceive? Sometimes I feel like if I could come back with real numbers, they'd just shut up already. It just makes me so mad when they act like it's just gonna happen like if I might just win the lottery.
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My opinion is you should see a fertility specialist. Usually after a year of trying with no luck, that is when you see one. You have been trying for four year. In some cases, yes the body just was not ready but you could lose another 4 years trying to figure that out.
I am not sure what you have for insurance or if you have researched any fertility specialist yet, but that would be step one.
http://www.sart.org/find_frm.html
It's the 4 yrs and people thinking I'll just suddenly end up pregnant that bothers me. It's like my friends and family think that getting pregnant is easy for everyone. Like if I just relax, or stop thinking about it, etc etc, it'll just happen. I'd just like to be able to respond in a way that they'll stop saying things like that to me because they'll understand that it doesn't just happen.
Thanks for the info ladies and the welcome.
I know what you mean about people trying to make you feel better. They say things that they think will lift our spirits, in reality, it just makes what we are going through harder.
My family and friends keep saying all the same things that we all hear. Quit trying so hard and it will happen, take a vacation, keep your butt elevated after sex, take Robitussin, or just relax if it is meant to be it will happen.
People that have not dealt with infertility have no clue.
I am currently starting my first IVF and everyone is now saying, I know this will work, you are going to have twins on the 1st try. I wish they would not say these things because IVF is not a sure thing and I do not know that it will work and I do not know that I will ever have children.
Ok, sorry to take over your post and vent.........please forgive me :) As you can probably tell, I've been hearing this stuff all day!!!
I haven't tried IVF yet simply because of the cost and well, it's not a guarantee. Someone once said to me - why do IVF when it's not a guarantee but you can adopt and for sure have a child. Like either option is easy - first. And second, everyone has a pre-defined idea of what motherhood is. For me that includes the 9 months of being pregnant. That doesn't mean I won't ever adopt, but it means for me - I need that at least once.
Good luck with your IVF. I hope you have the best possible outcome and if nothing else, the courage and strength to carry on.
I do intend to get the tube test - and go back to the fertility specialist - but they just aren't possible in the forseeable future. There's no way we can afford that without insurance or without something happening with our business or my husband finding a new job. So for the time being, it's a hope things turn out for the best with hopefully picking up and continuing with testing and such in the near future.
As for pcos - that kinda hits a sore spot with me. My doctor (OBGYN) diagnosed me with PCOS without doing a test. He basically said he didn't know why I was getting pregnant and I had some of the symptoms so I must have it. So I refuse to believe I have it until there's actual testing to back up his claim.
Thanks for the support.
The insurance thing is tough. Some people can make make financial sacrifices to afford costly treatments, while others are all ready pinching every penny they can.
But it also looks like you've had some doctors who haven't given you the time and consideration that you deserve. I completely understand that! Please don't give up hope until you know for sure what the issue is. Like you said, don't believe it until you have some actual testing. As I have been trying to face this, I have done a lot of reading, and one thing I am sure of is that there is so much involved in getting pregnant and there are so many thing that will effect it. Sometimes you just need to take a few steps back. Sometimes you do just have to rely on hope.
People do say some pretty insensitive things and this is the perfect place to vent your frustrations! There is a lot of compassion and strength here.
Best of luck and hope!