First, let me welcome you to DS. I believe you will find a lot of love and support here, I know I have.
My opinion is you should see a fertility specialist. Usually after a year of trying with no luck, that is when you see one. You have been trying for four year. In some cases, yes the body just was not ready but you could lose another 4 years trying to figure that out.

I am not sure what you have for insurance or if you have researched any fertility specialist yet, but that would be step one.

Here is a website you can go to and search for fertility doctors in your area and get statistics. Some women from you area may offer some advice too. Good Luck!

http://www.sart.org/find_frm.html

Welcome to DS! I agree with Lioness, you should seek out a fertility specialist. Don't worry about stats, you are an individual and there may be an easy solution to your fertility problems. There are many tests and treatments that can be done. Good luck with whatever you do!

I'm sorry - I wasn't very clear I guess. :o I actually did go to my OBGYN after about a year of trying. He put me on clomid and metformin and some other stuff that I can't remember the name of. After a year of clomid, I started doing the basil temperature stuff and seeing a naturalist. Then at three years, I went to see a fertility specialist at the University of Utah (where they are supposed to be really REALLY good). The doctor was great. He gave me his cold and some tests and such to do. We did all but one test (the tube check test) and discovered the problem is with me - and not him. I was supposed to go in and get the tube test (which wasn't covered by insurance) when my husband got laid off. Now financially, we really aren't in a spot to take expensive fertility tests but we're at 4 yrs of trying and we really don't want to stop trying just because we don't currently have insurance or extra money. I'll be 30 in January - he's 33 in 2 days. So I've seen a specialist - three actually (including the OBGYN, naturalist and fertility specialist). I kinda look at the past year as my chance to just sort of sit back and let my body relax a little. Clomid was hard on me (not at first - but the last few months were pretty rough) and eventually I ended up having to go to the ER due to pain from a large cyst that ruptured (pretty scary stuff!). I have a prescription somewhere from the specialist for another fertility drug which he warned me could cause birth defects - and so I haven't taken it. I wanted to get the tube test done first. And that's kinda of where I am at the moment.

It's the 4 yrs and people thinking I'll just suddenly end up pregnant that bothers me. It's like my friends and family think that getting pregnant is easy for everyone. Like if I just relax, or stop thinking about it, etc etc, it'll just happen. I'd just like to be able to respond in a way that they'll stop saying things like that to me because they'll understand that it doesn't just happen.

Thanks for the info ladies and the welcome.

Welcome to DS.
I know what you mean about people trying to make you feel better. They say things that they think will lift our spirits, in reality, it just makes what we are going through harder.
My family and friends keep saying all the same things that we all hear. Quit trying so hard and it will happen, take a vacation, keep your butt elevated after sex, take Robitussin, or just relax if it is meant to be it will happen.
People that have not dealt with infertility have no clue.
I am currently starting my first IVF and everyone is now saying, I know this will work, you are going to have twins on the 1st try. I wish they would not say these things because IVF is not a sure thing and I do not know that it will work and I do not know that I will ever have children.
Ok, sorry to take over your post and vent.........please forgive me :) As you can probably tell, I've been hearing this stuff all day!!!

Janlei, you are welcome to vent in my post! I personally feel for me it's easier to expect the worst and hope for the best rather than the other way around. If I expect the best possible outcome - then when it doesn't happen, it's much harder for me to deal with. I hate when I start a new cycle and everyone thinks that this time is it. Like this cycle is different from any of the others. :\

I haven't tried IVF yet simply because of the cost and well, it's not a guarantee. Someone once said to me - why do IVF when it's not a guarantee but you can adopt and for sure have a child. Like either option is easy - first. And second, everyone has a pre-defined idea of what motherhood is. For me that includes the 9 months of being pregnant. That doesn't mean I won't ever adopt, but it means for me - I need that at least once.

Good luck with your IVF. I hope you have the best possible outcome and if nothing else, the courage and strength to carry on.

welcome to DS. I thought that at 1.5 years of TTC was a long road, but you will find here that there are women that become PG after 6, 7 8 years. So, there is always hope. We are at the point that IVF is our only choice and since we have ins (only enough to cover 1 cycle) we are going for it. Money seems to be the biggest obstacle when IVF is the only choice. But someone here recently put it into perspective. One IFV cycle is still less money then like the cheapeast new car u can buy. We all make sacrifices to get what we want. Whether its a vac, or eating out regularily or not buying that new car you wanted. I am under the opinion that anyone with IF issues, cannot rely on "it will happen". No it won't just happen. We need to help it along. To me its like saying oh u broke your leg, well u don't need a cast, it SHOULD heal on its own. That is how rediculous I find the PG statements. Good luck

I think that people who do not understand what we are going through offer this advise to be helpful and don't realize how painful it is to hear that. Almost like we aren't relaxed enough so it is our fault it isn't happening. I have snapped at a few friends over this. I don't know if the statistics you are looking for exist but I would be sure to tell them that you have been doing anything and everything that you can and for some reason it is not happening and it hurts you for them to say that it will. Maybe they will back off if they know how much it bothers you. I wish you luck!! and welcome to DS! You are going to love it here!

Welcome to DS, it is filled with tons of strong wonderful women who truly get it. I agree with the other ladies that despite the fact that our friends/family think they are trying to make us feel better they really just don't get what it is like to go through this. Have you considered IUI? It is much cheaper then IVF and it seems like a lot of women start with that. Did they ever diagnose your fertility problem? I would try the fertility specialist again and talk to them about financial concerns, there has to be something they can suggest. Hang in there and remember that you aren't alone in all of this.

Welcome

I DO UNDERSTAND YOU WANTINNG A BABY OF YOUR OWN OR TRYING ATLEAST BEFORE ADOPTING. MY HUSBAND FEELS THE SAME WAY. YOU DO NEED TO GET THE TESTING DONE ON YOUR TUBES. IF THEY ARE BLOCKED THEN YOU ARE DOING ALL THIS TRYING FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. AND IF BY CHANCE THE SPERM WOULD GET THROUGH A BLOCKED TUBE YOU COULD HAVE A TUBULAR PREGNANCY WHICH DEFINITELY NOT GOOD AND END UP LOSING A TUBE . WITH THE CYST BRING THOUGHTS OF PCOS ALSO . YOU SHOULD GET CHECKED FOR THAT. I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS ON A PERSON AND FINANCIALLY TOO. I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 7 TO 8 YEARS NOW . ITS HEARTBREAKING EVERY MONTH BUT MAKE SURE TO TAKE TIME OUT FOR YOU TWO AND NOT LOSE EACH OTHER IN THIS BATTLE. GOOD LUCK HON AND VERY NICE TO MEET YOU .

IUI? Either I don't know what that is or I don't know what the acronym is for. :o

I do intend to get the tube test - and go back to the fertility specialist - but they just aren't possible in the forseeable future. There's no way we can afford that without insurance or without something happening with our business or my husband finding a new job. So for the time being, it's a hope things turn out for the best with hopefully picking up and continuing with testing and such in the near future.

As for pcos - that kinda hits a sore spot with me. My doctor (OBGYN) diagnosed me with PCOS without doing a test. He basically said he didn't know why I was getting pregnant and I had some of the symptoms so I must have it. So I refuse to believe I have it until there's actual testing to back up his claim.

Thanks for the support.

I am also very new here and, well to all of this. After 5+ years of just thinking maybe next month I will get pregnant. . . I realized that is becoming entirely unrealistic thinking.

The insurance thing is tough. Some people can make make financial sacrifices to afford costly treatments, while others are all ready pinching every penny they can.

But it also looks like you've had some doctors who haven't given you the time and consideration that you deserve. I completely understand that! Please don't give up hope until you know for sure what the issue is. Like you said, don't believe it until you have some actual testing. As I have been trying to face this, I have done a lot of reading, and one thing I am sure of is that there is so much involved in getting pregnant and there are so many thing that will effect it. Sometimes you just need to take a few steps back. Sometimes you do just have to rely on hope.

People do say some pretty insensitive things and this is the perfect place to vent your frustrations! There is a lot of compassion and strength here.

Best of luck and hope!

welcome I work in a medical building right next to the ob/gyn I see pregnant woman all day long if one more person tells me not to get stressed and not to think about it i am going to kill myself .