Infertility, Secondary Support Group

"Secondary infertility" is difficulty conceiving after already having conceived and carried a normal pregnancy. Apart from various medical conditions (e.g. hormonal), this may come as a result of age and stress felt to provide a sibling for their first child.

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/ Infertility, Secondary Support Group

what is a better phrase than "only child&quot

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am trying to think of a more positive phrase. yesterday another mother said to me "is he your oldest?" (refering to my 3 year old son).

i am NOT going to say "he's my only child" like...poor me (of course i feel that way) or "poor him" or 'what a lonely life in store for him" or "isnt it sad"

I need to find a better, less negative way to respond....any ideas?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish I had a good response to that question. My daughter is 7 and I qet that question often also. Sorry that I don't have a good response to help you out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is such a good question, I've thought about it a lot, but I haven't come up with anything. Sorry.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've been trying to think of something, but nothing is coming to mind. I always just said that my son was my only baby for now. Le tus know if you come up with anything!
deleted_user
deleted_user
the only think i can think of is to somehow say simply "I HAVE ONE CHILD or WE HAVE ONE SON" and leave off the "only" or the "just".
I dont want to say--- " i OMLY have one son" or "he is am ONLY child" or "our ONLY child" so, my idea is an improvement but....not perfect so I am still open to any better idea!
deleted_user
deleted_user
How about "He is our first and we are trying for another"

I got this question last night. The lady was even akward asking it but once she said it, it was to late to take it back.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i like that jewel, thanks, But also i am just wondering about--if it never happens and say i am.....50 yrs old.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I say "I have one little boy - he's three!" and most people don't seem to ask about more than what his name is, etc. I leave out the "only" as well since he is quite the miracle with having trouble conceiving 1st time around as well!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi I am new here. I have a daughter who is 16 and I just had a stillborn baby boy Gavin. Anyway I am an only child and so is my daughter (now) and I never thought saying "only child" was negative in anyway. I loved being an only child and my daughter also loves it, although I do not want her to be an only child any longer. I just figured I would give you an only child's point of view.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Whats wrong with saying "yes he's my oldest"? There is no perfect saying, no perfect scenario, and no perfect or positive way of being infertile. It is what it is.When I'm asked about my son I actually say he's my youngest and when they ask how old my oldest is I tell then 31, my husbands age. That usually stops all the prompting cause they see your okay with it. I hope this helps and if not I hope you find your answer soon.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just say yes. He's technically your oldest.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I never thought of it as negative. How about, "We have 'Jack' here." You might have more sensitivity on it than the person on the other end who is asking, can even fathom. I really dont think its hurtful. I have a friend that says "no, just her". I dont like the word "just". Like, that seems more demeaning than saying, maybe the word "only" is not so good.

How about, we have one. Not we only have one.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I leave off the only. I say I have a son Jaxon. It stopped the questions. I use to want to scream when people would ask...is he your only? Are you going to have any others? Like it is any of their business.
Love and Laugh,
Kristen
deleted_user
deleted_user
I appreciate all the ideas, thanks.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is a great question. I've probably used all the responses mentioned. I'm wary of the law of the attraction in all this & am skeptical about using the words "only" when asked about my almost 3 yr old, just in case that translates to one child in the universe!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ps nancy311. That is a beautiful picture.
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