I understand exacltly where you are comming from. We have people ask "when are you going to have another child" if it were only that easy. I wish people would just leave that subject alone. Not everyone gets pregnant at the snap of a finger.

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL I GET ASKED THAT ALL THE TIME BY FRIENDS AND EVEN FAMILY. IF THEY ONLY KNEW THE STRESS INVOLVED WITH GOIN THROUGH THIS EVERYDAY I ALSO GET PEOPLE TELLING ME "YOU KNOW YOUR NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER" WELL I THINK I KNOW THAT. THE POINT IS THAT PEOPLE THAT ASK AND MAKE STUPID COMMENTS JUST HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT IS LIKE TO WANT SOMETHING SO BAD AND NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE IT. I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS BUT TRY AND HANG IN THERE AND JUST KEEP YOUR FAITH!!!

He obviously had no sense of politeness so I would not have been worried about being percieved as rude. He doesn't know what rude is. I just tell people I am not comfortable talking about it. With him I probly would have said It is private please let it go.

it is so hard. i know. ppl ask us too. everyone knows i love kids so much and yet my little one is 4 and a half. i keep hoping my turn is next and every time i turn around someone other than me is pregnant.

Dont feel you have to have all the answers to explain. Its not our fault we got this. this isnt something we did wrong. its bad luck. its shitty luck. tell them that you are trying and it hasnt happend yet. period, end of story.

at my job ppl are getting pregs or getting their wife pregs. and it is hard. i finally told one friend that i am still trying. he was curious but i could tell he didnt know shit about infertility, as most ppl dont --its a waste of time trying to explain. i truly think they stop listening because they have no clue what we are saying.

I really need help with this. As the months have gone on I find myself dreading this question so much that I don't want to go to gatherings where other young moms are because I am worried they will ask. Last night at a party I joined the men, faking interest in a basketball game because the women were in the other room talking about who was pg when etc. Then a guy asked my husband that (his wife is now pg) and I just froze in fear. He mumbled through it but I totally felt like I just wanted to lie and say we were done having kids and stuff like "whew! no more diapers" (which is baloney--I'd love to change diapers of my own little baby right now). So what do you say? I need an answer I can rehearse beforehand because I so so so dread that question. What do you say, ladies?

I have to confess I have been on both sides of this question. After my son turned one, I started thinking about having another child, and I did unthinkingly ask my friends if and when they were having another too. I didn't intend to be nosy or hurtful; I was struggling with my own decision and seeking guidance on how to make it.

Immediately after my miscarriages, I learned just how painful those questions could be. I did isolate myself for a while to protect myself from those conversations (practically everyone we know knew we were trying).

As I recovered from my losses, I came to a place where I could no longer suffer in silence. I
went though a process of sharing the news of my miscarriages with many of those friends. I am so blessed that I received nothing but support so far.

I choose to be open about my experience and that deflects a lot of nosiness. Even with acquaintances, I would feel comfortable simply answering the "When are you having another?" question by saying, "We've been trying, but it hasn't worked out yet." Or "We hope to, but we've had a couple of losses trying for another child."

Yes, I sometimes get inane or thoughtless remarks. But the truth is many people just don't know what to say and screw it up. Keep in mind that people who have not been there, just have no clue.

If you run into a real jerk, don't be afraid to just say, "I'm not comfortable talking about this right now," and walk away.

I don't think there's an easy answer. Just find a method that works for you.

I feel for ya! Before we had our son that's all I heard about. Now that we have our son, now I hear you aren't going to MAKE him an only child are you... that would be terrible. Then when I have had people ask who's the "problem" I just say the both of us, thanks for asking. That way their isn't any blame, and in our case it's the truth. I have also just said... you know that question is very hurtful to me because my husband and I would want nothing more than another child, but it just may not be in the cards for us. But it's wonderful that you guys were able to have, then I mention the number.

OMG what inconsiderate jerks! Some people have no manner.

I've had the 'are you doing it right' comment too. It wouldn't be so bad but it was from my very fertile and incredibly insensitive sister!!
The other one I hate is 'its so much harder when you have two...' cos I'd love the chance to find out for myself.

haha!! tell me about it. My husbands sister seems to get pregnant everytime she opens her legs. At her 30th birthday party EVERYONE kept asking me and the hubby when was our next one? why are we leaving such a gap blah blah blah. It drove me nuts. I didn't want to tell them the truth as i didn't want their false pity!!! i just want to scream at everyone that asks such stupid questions.