Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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The Empiness

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hello everyone....I guess I just wanted to say that in the past month I have become alot better than I was before....I stopped drinking so much, my nightmares, daymares, and anxiety are less....and so now what? Here is what is happeneing....I was just sitting in a cafe reading ..drinking my tea and from the depths this sensation arose in me.....its not even a feeling....its a lack of feeling....an emptiness that it not a void.....a sadness that is byond words.....I have felt it before....my entire life that I can recall....its a nothing.....a sadness...a missing piece.....a missing ME. I have tried to block it out fill it up lock it up.....nothing works....no person, no substance, no addiction, no distraction....when it comes back to basics....its who I am ..a part of my painful existence....I am convinced that this "feeling" will never suffice.....its always been and it always will be which is what makes it more and more sad that each second passes. I will never be able to escape this .....its who I am and its who he made me to be. I am learning to accept it. Does anyone else identify with this?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I relate to it, but not for the same reasons. I live with depression. But then, I am also a counselor and a very spiritual (don't read 'religious') person. I probably became a counselor initially to treat myself. Sometimes, we have to embrace that feeling of emptiness and hollowness and take a 'walk into the desert' for a while in order to find ourselves. If you do, with the intention and faith that you WILL find the thing you are looking forward to filling you up, you might just find out that you are not alone. Underneath what you think is the 'big empty', there is a small, quiet voice that will lift you up, hold you gently in strong, loving arms, and bring you joy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can totally relate to what you are saying. Professionals call it "The Dead Zone". It's like a big hole inside all the time. I keep myself overscheduled, stressed and busy to avoid it, but then times like these when I'm alone, it overwhelms me with despair. I feel so completely alone in this world. I do know, from reading about other people's situations, that it is possible to break out of this. I'm sure it takes time and work, but it can be done. I wish I could tell you how, but maybe you just have to have faith and keep trying.
ironicgirl
ironicgirl
Yeah I've tried to cover it up with the bulimia, the si, but it never gets filled. Sometimes when I'm helping other people, and making others happy it seems to go away, but for me its a worthless feeling, like I shouldn't exist, that my existance is tainted.The eating disorder hides it from me, but when I'm alone and eating like a normal person I still feel it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
'Hi'. Journelling 'and counselling can help..
''Going it alone without any direction is scary , least it was for me. 'Simple Words 'like ''YOU Will Be Okay.. You Will Pass through this '. Maybe a spiritual mentor.. who can give you 'some ''prayers to say when these times arise..it helped me.. Just look around. ''we don't know how many suffer the same 'because it is something not all share. Loneliness I read is universal..
'And 'look how many have to have noise all the time.. ''Quiet is a place 'many don't like ''I am glad 'I am not fearful of myself Today.. in fact 'I" rather like being alone in the quiet.. ..lol.
Sounds like you are trying to escape less.. with alcohol.. WTG..
BE WEll 'sanr.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Reach inside yourself and discover where this feeling originates? then you may have the understanding of it to be able to work at banishing it, or leaving it behind you. Does not sound like a feeling that should be coming out that strong unless it is something to deal with from childhood. I am doing inner child work and this speaks to me of something that happened to the inner child and made him/her feel this way. You can go back and reteach the inner child, and love him/her, offer that child the support it needs to make these feelings go away.
Just my opinion, but if it helps....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I spend alot of time there. Huggs
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think I have always felt the emptiness, but didn't recognize it. I feel like something is drastically wrong with me. I feel like nobody hears me when I talk. I feel like nobody understands me. It's nice to hear that other people have similar feelings. I too keep myself so overscheduled. My soon-to-be ex-husband always told me to slow down & stop over-scheduling. The truth is, if I'm not busy, I just want to sleep, because of the sadness & emptiness I feel. I wake up feeling like crap. I want so bad to break this pattern. I just don't know how to be comfortable with myself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The nothingness I think is something we can all identify with. Its the powerlessness that arose out of what happen to us. It is a sadness, and no device will fill it in. But I want to believe that love can. I can honestly say, I am not there yet. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel. If I could get out of the quicksand, maybe I could get there. My point, to love yourself more now as an adult, then anyone else did when you were a child. To fill in the gaps with love, will heal this void. I hope this helps. Much Love, Amy
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have always felt like a part of me was missing. Then my parents told me that I had a twin sister who died at birth. I think that also when you are abused by a family member or person of trust there is something inside that is stolen from you and never recovered.
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