Hello everyone....I guess I just wanted to say that in the past month I have become alot better than I was before....I stopped drinking so much, my nightmares, daymares, and anxiety are less....and so now what? Here is what is happeneing....I was just sitting in a cafe reading ..drinking my tea and from the depths this sensation arose in me.....its not even a feeling....its a lack of feeling....an emptiness that it not a void.....a sadness that is byond words.....I have felt it before....my entire life that I can recall....its a nothing.....a sadness...a missing piece.....a missing ME. I have tried to block it out fill it up lock it up.....nothing works....no person, no substance, no addiction, no distraction....when it comes back to basics....its who I am ..a part of my painful existence....I am convinced that this "feeling" will never suffice.....its always been and it always will be which is what makes it more and more sad that each second passes. I will never be able to escape this .....its who I am and its who he made me to be. I am learning to accept it. Does anyone else identify with this?
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