It has taken many years..there is still scars and guilt. All started when I was 9 yrs. old. My father would sit me on his lap and sexually abuse me. He hid it from my Mom and told me if I told I would be very sorry. As I grew older, he would take pleasure in whipping the hell out of me with a switch or a belt if I tried to get away from him. I strongly suspect that he also abused my two younger sisters. That is where the guilt comes in..I wonder how I could have protected them even though is was only a teenager. He tried to have sex with my female cousins, my girlfriends and God knows who else. When he died in a boating accident I wasn't happy he died, but I never have cried about it. My sister's are really messed up...one is almost a slave to her husband and the other is in counselling for her mental/emotional problems. After a bad marriage of suffering physical, mental and emotional abuse I have finally found a wonderful, gentle, understanding man and have been happily married for over 20 years. I just know I still need to come to terms with what happened in the past.
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