Hi, I’m new to this group, but not to Daily Strength. I’m so glad I found this group though. Something really scary just happened. I was reading this news story and at one point it talked about sibling incest. My heart started pounding and I felt like my head was underwater. And it’s really hard to put this in writing or to even go over it in my head, but I had flashbacks to these times when my sister would take advantage of me sexually.
My sister is 9 years older than me, and I was around 5 years old when this would happen. I remember it happening multiple times, in two different houses that we lived in. I also remember how much she emphasized that it was a secret and I couldn’t say anything to mom and dad.
I’ve had this floating around in my mind ever since it happened. Like it went away, but it would come up occasionally, but I would just think that I wasn’t remembering things correctly, or it wasn’t a big deal. I knew it was wrong, but I thought it wasn’t a big deal because she never hurt me and I never said no. But now I’m realizing I was 5 years old. I had no idea what any of that was. I’ve never had any of this come to me more clearly than in that moment earlier today.
It really pains me to bring all of this up because I love my sister. I’ve always looked up to her. She’s always been kind to me, like a second mom since she’s so much older than me. She’s married and has a baby now and she’s supported me through everything and I love her and her family. So it hurts me to remember this because I don’t want to have a reason to be angry with her.
I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was really little and an eating disorder for the past 9 years. I’ve also developed depression in the past 4 years or so. And lately, it’s all really debilitated me. I’m 19 years old, I had to withdrawal from school to get treatment for my mental health. I’m still unable to focus on school or even a small job. I’ve never struggled as much as I have these past few years. I go to therapy, take medications, etc. And I was reading about how incest can negatively impact mental health. And that just makes me...SO mad?! Because I was 5 years old and innocent and now some days I don’t even want to live anymore. And what if that is a result of what happened? But of course I don’t want to be angry with my sister...
i know I’ve doubted if the incest was true in the past, but I know it’s true. When my heart started pounding earlier, I envisioned so many details that there’s no way it wasn’t true. I can’t imagine telling anyone. Not even my therapist. She’d probably have to tell someone or something, plus she knows my mom, so that would be terrible. If I told my family, they’d either not believe me, or they’d be so angry with my sister and I don’t want that to happen.
Sorry for all of my rambling. I’m just at a loss of what to do. And I feel terrible for coming on here because I feel like I didn’t even experience something that traumatic compared to others. I wasn’t hurt physically. And I’m so sorry to every single person that has ever been hurt like that. I just don’t know if my situation is worth being upset over or telling somebody or anything.
Has anyone ever suffered from Stockholm Syndrome after many years of sexual abuse? I was diagnosed as having it by my therapist. My particular case has me struggling to feel empathy and sympathy for other victims, including myself. And I find myself feeling sorry too often for those who have committed crimes towards others.My therapist says this is happening because I am angry at myself for being...
from as young as 3 or 4 I would watch porn videos with my dad often, when my mum wasnt home. I just thought it was normal for everyone to be having sex so at about the age of 6 or 7 I started to have sex with other boys around my age, and I hate to admit it but one was my younger brother. I always started it and told them what to do. This went on for about 5 years. I guess as I got older and...